Faith in Football, Slowly Restored

What is it all about? Why do we gift our raw passion and emotional commitment to our football club? It may seem like a needlessly pretentious, existential question, but once in a while you find yourself perusing these thoughts in an attempt to find the very reason for the ongoing love you have for your football team.

The closest answer I can give is faith. Some people describe their football club as their religion, and I believe this to be a lot more of an apt description than it is given credit for. There is perhaps no discernible reason as to why we want to drag ourselves through the emotional turmoil, inevitable heartbreak and increasing financial pinch that comes with our football clubs. But we do it anyway, and if that isn't taking the leap of faith, then  I don't know what is.

The past few years have been a great test of faith for Portsmouth supporters. Where once we were able to carelessly enjoy the days of triumph, now came the times of despair. One financial mess led to another, with a succession of owners leaving the club in even more peril than before. The club was threatened with liquidation, and suffered a string of relegations. There has perhaps never been a collapse as devastating as that which Portsmouth suffered.

The woes of my club coincided with a time in my life where I had to let go of Pompey to an extent. I had gone to games regularly since the age of 6, and between 2004 and 2010 I held a season ticket and went through all the highs and lows of the Premier League years in full. My feeling of identity with the club couldn't have been stronger, but at the end of the 2010 season it was time to say goodbye to the season ticket, as I was off to University in London.

The change instantly made me feel like I was missing out. I was only able to go to a handful of games and as the team had been relegated the previous season, the coverage of Portsmouth was limited as well. Besides that, all the news regarding the team was about our depressing financial state anyway, and keeping up to date with it became a sombre affair that seemed to require a Masters in financial law at times. 

News got sourer, and after another dodgy owner it seemed like our fate had been sealed. Though the club had survived past scares, it was now looking imminent that it would be liquidated. Deep down, my feeling was "How can this be fair?". It didn't seem right that, after the years of passion I had devoted to Portsmouth Football Club, a succession of shady figures could ruin it in an instant. There was no sense in the fact that while chairmen could flee having destroyed Portsmouth, the fans were left to see their team desecrated.

This feeling of injustice left a very bitter taste in the mouth. Now, not only was I missing out on most of Pompey's games, but I was feeling like the whole footballing world was unreasonable. The 2011-2012 season was hailed as perhaps one of the most exciting seasons in living memory, and if you consider 'football' to be what you can watch on Sky, then yes it was. But 'football' had taken a complete nosedive in my mind. 

That was the low-point. It isn't right to say I had lost faith in Portsmouth or football, but I don't doubt that had the club gone out of business, I'd have been too embittered to devote myself to any phoenix club and probably would've paid a lot less attention to football overall. Somehow the team existed beyond the summer, and we began our League One campaign. Our first match was a home tie against Bournemouth, and I went along and started to rediscover what was missing. After a summer of speculation, deductions, liquidation threats, Chainrai bullshitting us again, here we were about to enjoy a football match again.

The football. That's what it was all about.

Except it wasn't just about the football. It was also the fact that there were 12,000 people alongside us, still with their faith intact. When Pompey opened the scoring, no-one concerned themselves with the silly off-the-field problems that were going on. It was a moment of celebration like any other, because for these fans there was no difference between supporting the team to the FA Cup Final, or supporting the team in League One while the future of the club remained in the balance.

The healing process had been initiated, and was quickly aided by the absolutely phenomenal work of the Portsmouth Supporters Trust. They took on the ultimate test of faith when they answered the question "Will you give £1000 of your own money to keep the club alive?". An unequivocal yes made the dream of Portsmouth becoming the UK's biggest fan-owned club into a reality, and despite another relegation members of the Trust embraced on the pitch after it was announced that the deal had been secured.

Who would not want to be a part of that religion? The religion that has fought so hard just to remain in existence. The religion that packed out a 20,000-seater stadium after being dropped into the lower echelons of the fourth tier. The religion that kept on turning up, even when things were looking certain that liquidation was afoot. The religion where a million broken promises from a million broke owners failed to shatter the faith of the people. The religion that is Portsmouth Football Club.

My faith in Portsmouth Football Club has never been stronger, and I believe the wider world of football has hope too. Communities are the foundations of football clubs, and there is certainly an argument that this is being forgotten among the top bracket of Premier League teams. However, the spirit still exists across the Football League. Last weekend I attended the play-off semi-final second leg tie between Watford and Crystal Palace, and to see players and fans celebrating as one after the final whistle was wonderful, and truly embodied the spirit of a community club. As much as the FA seem to completely misunderstand football supporters, I believe it has failed to break the bond between clubs and fans.

I have now finished University, and will spend the next year doing a course in Portsmouth. I can't wait to watch us in League Two... not a sentence I expected to write five years ago when we were winning the FA Cup, but I mean every word of it.

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