Though my rage and
alcohol-fuelled review of Keith Lemon: The Movie seemed to me, in retrospect,
to be a rambling mess, it managed to generate quite a few views. That may have
been down to sympathetic members of forums clicking on the article following a
less-than-dignified plug, but Blogger informs me that at least one view came
from the search terms "big cock", so there's a lesson in marketing
for you kids.
Nevertheless, it
somehow worked and with Netflix offering up a wide range of tripe to be viewed,
it seemed unfair for me not to utilise the service and make the gamut of
terrible films into something productive. With that, I decided to start a new
series of reviews named "As Bad As It Looks?". The idea is that I
will be watching films that seem like the sort of thing I would never in a
million years find tolerable. I'm hoping that eventually I'll find one that I
actually like, but sadly this was not the case with today's choice: Cyberbully.
Cyberbullying is a
hot topic at the moment, with BBC News reporting yesterday that one in five
children are subject to bullying online. To make a film surrounding the issue
would take some clever story-work, some delicate touches, believable character
and a clear well-executed message. This film had none of those.
Our story revolves
around a high-school girl named Taylor, who finally gets her own laptop that
she can use away from her over-protective mother. She signs up to a social
networking site named Cliquester, and her brother gets onto her laptop and
posts a ridiculous status (Frape? Crape? I dunno what you'd call it). This
incomprehensibly starts a wave of vicious comments being posted on her page by
classmates.
The film follows a
fairly routine format in this regard. Taylor reads nasty comments, then cries
whilst sad music plays, then one of her friends ditches her. The bullies
themselves are actually incredibly funny in this film, as they are completely
over-the-top and seem to go above and beyond to taunt their victim. They even
produce a miniature film, with masks and costumes and everything, just to make
fun of Taylor. I don't care what you say, they deserve some kudos for their
commitment.
As well as comments
from these remarkably one-dimensional villains, we have a mysterious boy called
James initially posting to show support for Taylor. When he inexplicably
changes his tune to claim that Taylor gave him an STD, it becomes apparent that
the account was a fake. This is all too much for Taylor, who posts a farewell
video before attempting suicide.
Now in fairness, the
actual moment where Taylor tries to commit suicide is actually pretty well
done. Her friend Samantha rushes to her house and frantically calls Taylor's
mother. The ambulance arrives, they dart around the house looking for her. I
think maybe the sudden moment of drama just made a nice change to the moping
around and reading things online that was pretty much the entire first half of
the film. When they finally find her, she's trying to open a bottle of pills
while screaming "I CAN'T GET IT OPEN". This goes down as the funniest
suicide attempt in film history. Samantha restrains her, and Taylor breaks down
in tears.
For some reason, in
the next scene she's in a hospital, being sedated and attached to a
heart-monitor (they make it clear she didn't take anything, so as far as
precautions go this is like wearing a helmet to put shoes on). Then the film
becomes about a cause, but I think they had trouble working out what it was.
First, the Mother seems determined to find out who James was even though the
other bullies were far nastier and more persistent than 'James'. She even
confronts Lindsay, the ringleader of the bullies, but pays no interest while
she tries to find out who was responsible for the fake profile
.
Notice how contrived
this is all sounding? Well the reason the story puts so much stock in finding
out who was behind the James profile is because it was actually Taylor's best
friend Samantha. This is completely bizarre and I was baffled as to why they
felt the character should do such a thing. They eventually reveal it was
because of jealousy as a boy asked her out to the dance, yet despite my theory
that 99% of high-school girls are psychotic, I simply cannot fathom why this
would happen. Taylor finds out and the two aren't friends anymore.
Anyway, the Mother's
cause in the film becomes apparent when she chases ways for the cyberbullying
to be prevented. First, she goes to the principal, who basically says he can't
do anything about what happens online and claims that he has no legal right to
punish children over what they do on the internet. Either this is the most
spineless principal in the world, or the writer's chose another cop-out route.
So the Mother goes to
her local senator, who says that he sees no reason for a law against
cyberbullying. Finally, the Mother decides that talking to a journalist and
pressuring the senator into a law change is her only option. This is when the
film's message finally became apparent: "THERE SHOULD BE A LAW AGAINST
THIS". As far as moral crusades go, putting forward the idea that constant
harassment should be illegal is rather easy.
The journalist says
he will do a story with Taylor, but only if Samantha is interviewed with her as
well. Why a journalist would take the angle of "Let's hear two high school
girls talk about their bitchy catfight" as opposed to "An isolated
young girl who tried to take her own life", I don't know, but it allows
the film come to a conclusion so let's not have a go at it. The two patch up
their differences, and the story is so influential that the senator completely
changes his mind in an instant and draws up a new law against cyberbullying.
The final scene is
vomit-inducing. Taylor finally returns to school following her suicide attempt,
and suffers another biting comment from Lindsay and the bullies. She decides
not to let it go this time, and calmly starts to tell Lindsay how her words
hurt. Just a few seconds into this quiet speech, kids from all over the
cafeteria start to turn around and say "Hey look over there!". Then
Taylor's friends begin to chime in saying that Lindsay is full of hate, and a
couple of other bullied kids also add their thoughts. Lindsay is mildly bemused
and leaves the cafeteria, leaving the viewer to wonder if that really was
supposed to be the pay-off. The film ends with shots of kids using their phones to inform friends of the incredible smackdown Taylor just handed Lindsay, with one response being "Wow! So it's safe to go online again?"
So what's wrong with
Cyberbully? It's by no means the worst film ever, but it doesn't present a
realistic outlook on the problem of cyberbullying in the first place, and I
think that is where the whole concept collapses. Cyberbullying isn't something
that begins with a 'frape', or is a result of a Mother's intrusion being
withdrawn. It's an extension of real-life bullying, and the worst of it can be
the anonymous comments that endlessly follow a victim around.
Taylor makes no
attempt to end the cyberbullying. It is quickly established that Cliquester
uses a friend request system, and yet she accepts everyone who bullies her as a
friend. At no point does she try to unfriend people, nor does she ever block
anyone (one scene in a support group shows the therapy douche suggesting that
they block a bully, and Taylor remarks "I never knew you could do
that!"). The worst cyberbullying is that which a victim cannot get away
from, and yet Taylor could have easily gotten away from this.
As well as this, the
characters themselves are very bland and almost indistinguishable from one
another. It seemed that the makers wanted a safe drama about typical teenage
girls going through this "cyberbullying" thing they had heard all
about, and put little effort into making it interesting or realistic. There are
some scenes that work to create some drama, such as the suicide scene, but
otherwise this is just a dull watch.
My main problem
though, is that this film pretends it has a message; that it's saying something
profound about cyberbullying. What it's really doing is pointing at it. The
solution to Taylor's problem was for her to stay off of school for a
while and then tell Lindsay she's a big meanie. I don't think that's a message
that any young people suffering the same problems will be able to use with any
great effect.
* * * * *
My final rating for
this film: 4/10. That puts it above Keith Lemon: The Movie in the ABAIL chart,
which will hopefully become a catalogue of the worst-looking films available to
watch.
ABAIT Chart:
1. Cyberbully - 4/10
2. Keith Lemon: The
Movie - 1/10
