As Bad As It Looks? - Cyberbully (A Review)

Though my rage and alcohol-fuelled review of Keith Lemon: The Movie seemed to me, in retrospect, to be a rambling mess, it managed to generate quite a few views. That may have been down to sympathetic members of forums clicking on the article following a less-than-dignified plug, but Blogger informs me that at least one view came from the search terms "big cock", so there's a lesson in marketing for you kids.

Nevertheless, it somehow worked and with Netflix offering up a wide range of tripe to be viewed, it seemed unfair for me not to utilise the service and make the gamut of terrible films into something productive. With that, I decided to start a new series of reviews named "As Bad As It Looks?". The idea is that I will be watching films that seem like the sort of thing I would never in a million years find tolerable. I'm hoping that eventually I'll find one that I actually like, but sadly this was not the case with today's choice: Cyberbully.

Cyberbullying is a hot topic at the moment, with BBC News reporting yesterday that one in five children are subject to bullying online. To make a film surrounding the issue would take some clever story-work, some delicate touches, believable character and a clear well-executed message. This film had none of those.

Our story revolves around a high-school girl named Taylor, who finally gets her own laptop that she can use away from her over-protective mother. She signs up to a social networking site named Cliquester, and her brother gets onto her laptop and posts a ridiculous status (Frape? Crape? I dunno what you'd call it). This incomprehensibly starts a wave of vicious comments being posted on her page by classmates.

The film follows a fairly routine format in this regard. Taylor reads nasty comments, then cries whilst sad music plays, then one of her friends ditches her. The bullies themselves are actually incredibly funny in this film, as they are completely over-the-top and seem to go above and beyond to taunt their victim. They even produce a miniature film, with masks and costumes and everything, just to make fun of Taylor. I don't care what you say, they deserve some kudos for their commitment.

As well as comments from these remarkably one-dimensional villains, we have a mysterious boy called James initially posting to show support for Taylor. When he inexplicably changes his tune to claim that Taylor gave him an STD, it becomes apparent that the account was a fake. This is all too much for Taylor, who posts a farewell video before attempting suicide.

Now in fairness, the actual moment where Taylor tries to commit suicide is actually pretty well done. Her friend Samantha rushes to her house and frantically calls Taylor's mother. The ambulance arrives, they dart around the house looking for her. I think maybe the sudden moment of drama just made a nice change to the moping around and reading things online that was pretty much the entire first half of the film. When they finally find her, she's trying to open a bottle of pills while screaming "I CAN'T GET IT OPEN". This goes down as the funniest suicide attempt in film history. Samantha restrains her, and Taylor breaks down in tears.

For some reason, in the next scene she's in a hospital, being sedated and attached to a heart-monitor (they make it clear she didn't take anything, so as far as precautions go this is like wearing a helmet to put shoes on). Then the film becomes about a cause, but I think they had trouble working out what it was. First, the Mother seems determined to find out who James was even though the other bullies were far nastier and more persistent than 'James'. She even confronts Lindsay, the ringleader of the bullies, but pays no interest while she tries to find out who was responsible for the fake profile

.

Notice how contrived this is all sounding? Well the reason the story puts so much stock in finding out who was behind the James profile is because it was actually Taylor's best friend Samantha. This is completely bizarre and I was baffled as to why they felt the character should do such a thing. They eventually reveal it was because of jealousy as a boy asked her out to the dance, yet despite my theory that 99% of high-school girls are psychotic, I simply cannot fathom why this would happen. Taylor finds out and the two aren't friends anymore.

Anyway, the Mother's cause in the film becomes apparent when she chases ways for the cyberbullying to be prevented. First, she goes to the principal, who basically says he can't do anything about what happens online and claims that he has no legal right to punish children over what they do on the internet. Either this is the most spineless principal in the world, or the writer's chose another cop-out route.

So the Mother goes to her local senator, who says that he sees no reason for a law against cyberbullying. Finally, the Mother decides that talking to a journalist and pressuring the senator into a law change is her only option. This is when the film's message finally became apparent: "THERE SHOULD BE A LAW AGAINST THIS". As far as moral crusades go, putting forward the idea that constant harassment should be illegal is rather easy.

The journalist says he will do a story with Taylor, but only if Samantha is interviewed with her as well. Why a journalist would take the angle of "Let's hear two high school girls talk about their bitchy catfight" as opposed to "An isolated young girl who tried to take her own life", I don't know, but it allows the film come to a conclusion so let's not have a go at it. The two patch up their differences, and the story is so influential that the senator completely changes his mind in an instant and draws up a new law against cyberbullying.

The final scene is vomit-inducing. Taylor finally returns to school following her suicide attempt, and suffers another biting comment from Lindsay and the bullies. She decides not to let it go this time, and calmly starts to tell Lindsay how her words hurt. Just a few seconds into this quiet speech, kids from all over the cafeteria start to turn around and say "Hey look over there!". Then Taylor's friends begin to chime in saying that Lindsay is full of hate, and a couple of other bullied kids also add their thoughts. Lindsay is mildly bemused and leaves the cafeteria, leaving the viewer to wonder if that really was supposed to be the pay-off. The film ends with shots of kids using their phones to inform friends of the incredible smackdown Taylor just handed Lindsay, with one response being "Wow! So it's safe to go online again?"

So what's wrong with Cyberbully? It's by no means the worst film ever, but it doesn't present a realistic outlook on the problem of cyberbullying in the first place, and I think that is where the whole concept collapses. Cyberbullying isn't something that begins with a 'frape', or is a result of a Mother's intrusion being withdrawn. It's an extension of real-life bullying, and the worst of it can be the anonymous comments that endlessly follow a victim around.

Taylor makes no attempt to end the cyberbullying. It is quickly established that Cliquester uses a friend request system, and yet she accepts everyone who bullies her as a friend. At no point does she try to unfriend people, nor does she ever block anyone (one scene in a support group shows the therapy douche suggesting that they block a bully, and Taylor remarks "I never knew you could do that!"). The worst cyberbullying is that which a victim cannot get away from, and yet Taylor could have easily gotten away from this.

As well as this, the characters themselves are very bland and almost indistinguishable from one another. It seemed that the makers wanted a safe drama about typical teenage girls going through this "cyberbullying" thing they had heard all about, and put little effort into making it interesting or realistic. There are some scenes that work to create some drama, such as the suicide scene, but otherwise this is just a dull watch. 

My main problem though, is that this film pretends it has a message; that it's saying something profound about cyberbullying. What it's really doing is pointing at it. The solution to Taylor's problem was for her to stay off of school for a while and then tell Lindsay she's a big meanie. I don't think that's a message that any young people suffering the same problems will be able to use with any great effect.

*   *   *   *   *

My final rating for this film: 4/10. That puts it above Keith Lemon: The Movie in the ABAIL chart, which will hopefully become a catalogue of the worst-looking films available to watch.

ABAIT Chart:

1. Cyberbully - 4/10

2. Keith Lemon: The Movie - 1/10