It was Super Soccer Special Sky Sports Smashing Spectacular Stunning Sunday yesterday, so naturally the most significant action of the weekend took place on the Sabbath. However, there were stories galore and this here little page is all set to round them up like cattle. Even though I just made a point about how much more occurred than the two Sunday games, I’m going to be a hypocritical monster and start with yesterday’s action.
Manchester City 3-2 Tottenham Hotspur
So nearly was this City’s first slip on home turf this season. However, the league leaders were able to stabilise themselves just in the final nick of time, as they overcame a resurgent Tottenham side to retain their 100% record at the Etihad Stadium. Just as Redknapp’s Spurs began to look like a reasonable bet for the title, they encountered the toughest fixture in their calendar. Pulling a determined face, they braved the worst of the storm as they went 2-0 down, and without so much as glancing at the ground, pulled themselves back into the game. Despite losing the match a stroke before the final whistle, Tottenham will continue to be encouraged about their own ability from this match.
The first half was a simmering affair that suggested a game could be on the cards somewhere along the line. After neither team really threatened, the game sprung into life like a squirrel being awoken by an angry fox. On the 56th minute, David Silva being the silky awesomeness he is, sliced the defence apart with a wonderful threaded pass to Samir Nasri, who took on the shot first time with an extremely clinical finish. City celebrated, but didn’t let their minds wander as a few minutes later, a corner was whipped in and Joleon Lescott used all of his body to bundle the ball into the back of the net. Tottenham had been destroyed by a three minute double-salvo.
As much as this can deflate teams, Tottenham are a strong balloon. Hang on, that metaphor still suggests weakness. Actually, they’re more like a football. A leather one. Stronger. Well, anyway, you know what I mean. What I’m trying to say is that Jermain Defoe pulled one back when Savic made an error and allowed the titchy striker a one-on-one opportunity with Hart, which the experienced Defoe would not refuse.
Before City could wipe their eyes with shock, Gareth Bale had levelled things to 2-2 with a sumptuous curled finish from range. Having enjoyed that brilliant goal, Tottenham begun to sense a victory on the horizon. Both sides were having chances up until the last few minutes, when Spurs came within inches of an incredible victory. Gareth Bale pounced on another Savic mistake and powered forward into the box. He pulled the ball back for Defoe who, stretching all 3 foot 7 of him, could only deflect the ball wide of the post.
Naturally, when there’s a story at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli isn’t far away. This time he was involved in a nasty and practically indefensible incident before winning and scoring the decisive penalty. Having tangled up with midfield rock Scott Parker, Balotelli appeared to direct a stamp towards Parker’s head. It had a regrettable deal of intent about it, and Balotelli will be lucky to escape a severe punishment for the incident.
However, right after Tottenham missed their massive opportunity, Ledley King brought Balotelli down in the Spurs penalty area and the referee was given no choice. The Italian dispatched the penalty without blinking, and City continued to march on.
Arsenal 1-2 Manchester United
“Anything you can do, we can do... similarly” was the (probably reluctant) cry of the United fans yesterday as they cruised to victory in a numbingly sedate game at the Emirates. This match will have drawn yawns from around the country as Arsenal showed they had extremely little to offer against an efficient United.
A turgid first half was only livened up in the final minute when Ryan Giggs’ curly cross was met by the enormous leap of Spanish Football Club Antonio Valencia. This will have given Arsene Wenger an excuse to release all of his pent up rage upon the team talk, and indeed Arsenal did look fired up in the second half.
They began to create chances but were suffering from ‘Diop-finishing’ syndrome, blasting the ball all over the place and nowhere near the goal. However, the quality of Robin van Persie shone through for the bazillionth time this season, as he found the degree-specific angle to slide the ball past Lindegaard in the 71st minute.
Despite Wenger’s success in riling the team up, the Frenchman (who still looks like a man going through a perpetual bout of flu) decided to ruin everything by making a couple of laughable substitutions. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who had looked impressive, was brought off and replaced by the calamitous Andrey Arshavin, who did nothing. Still, Arsenal had the momentum so it would be fine, right? It wasn’t enough. Ten minutes later, United mesmerised the Arsenal defence with a beautiful game of penalty-box pinball. A great move allowed Danny Welbeck to thud home the winner.
United had to win this game following City’s victory over Tottenham. They’ve shown a great deal of strength in emerging victorious at The Emirates. Both sides continue to impress, and if one thing is certain, then it is that the winner of this season’s Premier League will have deserved it immensely.
Bolton Wanderers 3-1 Liverpool
Kenny Dalglish looks to be losing his Kingly magic. We have seen a great deal of shortcomings in the Liverpool team, and only one conclusion can be drawn – they have spent their money atrociously. With their struggles to get a result at home and now this crushing defeat against a lowly Bolton side, one has to wonder whether or not it’s time for his majesty to abdicate.
You have to give Bolton credit for securing the victory, but let’s make no mistake – Liverpool were poor. Mark Davies seemed to have a nasty infectious disease on his boots as the Liverpool defence kindly ran away from him as he bore down on goal. It was a simple finish to give Bolton the lead.
Nigel Reo-Coker showed what inimitable a truly wonderful class he has with a well taken second goal, before becoming furious over Craig Bellamy’s existence. The stumpy Welshman was the man to give Liverpool hope when he wrapped onto Carroll’s pass and struck home to make it 2-1 before half-time. Bolton were not to let it slip though, as Gretar Steinsson thumped home a volley to seal an excellent victory for The Trotters.
Bolton required hope. It was an entity they seemed totally devoid of up until now, but this victory could finally spark the revival everybody has been expecting.
Everton 1-1 Blackburn Rovers
Everton have spent this whole season on the periphery of everyone’s attention. I don’t think anyone’s even aware of their existence once Match of the Day is over, such is their ability to find that mid-table obscurity. Blackburn, however, are big characters in the relegation fight and will be delighted to continue grinding out results that could prove crucial in their struggle.
Blackburn were more than worth their point as they battered the Everton woodwork and generally appeared to be more spirited during the game. Despite this, The Toffees carved out a lucky lead when Fellaini got his arms all over the ball before Tim Cahill scored from close-range. It was his first goal for over a year, and his first non-headed goal since ever.
Blackburn persevered, embodying this newfound iron-grit that has infused the whole squad. After David Dunn smacked the post again (with the ball, I should add), Morten Gamst Pedersen attempted one of his irritatingly-good free-kicks. Howard parried it and as Cahill attempted to clear the ball away from goal, the ball hit David Goodwillie and bounced into the back of the net. David Goodwillie has three goals for Blackburn now, and I don’t think he’s done anything towards them except stand in the right place.
The game ended as a draw, which Blackburn will be both happier with, and slightly aggrieved by.
Fulham 5-2 Newcastle United
Right. I haven’t seen the highlights of this one, so I’m going to summarise without the usual match report-type bit. Fulham had been dipping their toes in the relegation mess a little bit up until this victory. However, the squad looks decent and Martin Jol has a proven track record when it comes to Premier League management. It never looked like Fulham had the ingredients for relegation, but this comprehensive victory over high-flying Newcastle will have done a lot to make that fact feel more secure.
The Cottagers owe a lot to Clint Dempsey. The yank has been tremendous in his five years at the club and it always feels like he is still improving. A hat-trick in this game pays tribute to his goalscoring prowess, but as we know Dempsey has so much more to his game than that. One wonders if Clint Dempsey is one of the most underrated players in the league.
Newcastle are under the scrutiny of having to cope without the brilliant Demba Ba, and it looks like they’re struggling. However, it clearly wasn’t for goals, as they scored two away from home (which most sides would be happy with). I’m guessing there were defensive issues for United, and that won’t bode well for this second half of the season if they are still harbouring European ambitions.
Norwich City 0-0 Chelsea
There’s little to say about this game. Norwich were predictably pegged back by Chelsea, but Fernando Torres’ extraordinary misfortune in front of goal saved the day once more. The troubled feminine Spaniard forced some spectacular saves from John Ruddy as well as missing other excellent opportunities.
It’s really quite amazing how Torres just cannot score at the moment. It’s got to the point where, by definition, he has to possess a quantum anti-luck in order for this barren run to make any sense in a universe without the paranormal. Still, at least his efforts were better than Malouda’s big opportunity, which I believe is still rising and should pass the Moon on Wednesday.
Norwich take another impressive point, Chelsea disappointingly drop another couple. Form does not change in this one.
QPR 3-1 Wigan Athletic
Tufty-haired Mark Hughes enjoyed his first victory with QPR as they secured a vital three points against their relegation rivals. Surprisingly, this was only Rangers’ second win at Loftus Road this year, and that sort of form is exactly what Hughes will be looking to change. They say ‘start as you mean to go on’, so signs are good.
A pretty blatant handball gave QPR an early advantage when they received a penalty for a moment of blind stupidity. Helguson just managed to squeeze it past Ali Al-Habsi, but the Omani goalkeeper was to get his own back later. He could do nothing about Akos Buzsaky’s spectacular free-kick ten minutes later though, which was directed beautifully into the top corner of the Wigan Athletic goal.
Hugo Rodallega looked at Buzsaky’s goal and thought to himself “That looks good, I might have a go at that”. Sure enough, Rodallega took his free-kick just as well as Buzsaky had, and another spectacular goal allowed Wigan a sniff of recovery. It looked like that would be negated when Heidar Helguson won another penalty after being brought down by Sammon. However, that redemption for Al-Habsi I alluded to earlier was completed here when he clawed away the Ice-man’s penalty terrifically.
For a man with a pretty bland name, Tommy Smith showed he was capable of the odd extravagance. From 25-yards out, the former Portsmouth and Watford striker crashed in a drive that stunned Wigan and put the game to bed. QPR hauled themselves out of the relegation zone, but Wigan are beginning to get cut off at the bottom. Though they always seem to find a way out of the dirge, it looks like Wigan will require a truly great escape this time around.
Stoke City 1-2 West Bromwich Albion
I don’t like Thomas Sorensen. I don’t have anything against him personally, but in my view he’s blocking the extremely talented Portsmouth-graduate Asmir Begovic from making himself into the greatest goalkeeper ever in the world. However, it’s only fair to say that the Dane was a tad unlucky when he allowed Morrison’s whistling shot to slip past him during Saturday’s game between Stoke and West Brom. The effort curled very late on and Sorensen happened to commit himself just a little too early. It was an unfortunate way for The Potters to go behind.
Stoke nearly got their own slice of luck when they were awarded a very soft penalty following Gareth McAuley’s challenge. However, Jon Walters’ effort was collected by Ben Foster, and the opportunity went to waste. Not to be deterred, Stoke did eventually get their equaliser very late on after Pennant’s free-kick (also a soft decision) found the head of Cameron Jerome, who poked it home. It looked like they had rescued a point.
Did I have you there? Did you think for a second that Stoke had drawn? No? Well, how did you kn... oh, I put it as the headline on this section. Oh, and you watch Match of the Day. Well, that’s one way of getting a football round-up, but... not the best way. Anyway, Dorrans’ angled free-kick broke Stoke hearts when it nestled into the bottom corner after missing everyone. Another important win for a relegation-threatened team. A surprise for Stoke.
Sunderland 2-0 Swansea
Two excellent goals allowed Sunderland’s fantastic run under Martin O’Neill to stretch further. Despite being the best passers in the league and having Britain’s answers to Xavi and Iniesta, Swansea offered little in the way of attack which may have disappointed frustrated bespectacled statisticians.
Stephane Sessegnon, who is without doubt my favourite player in the world at the moment, pulled off a brilliant one-two with James McLean before managing an absolutely sublime finish to put Sunderland ahead 15 minutes in. It was a fantastic goal, but would later be bettered. In the meantime though, Swansea had a good deal of possession without showing enough initiative up front to make the vital difference in the scoreline.
Then came the better goal, just five minutes before the end of the game. Stephane Sessegnon knocked the ball to Craig Gardner who took one touch before firing in a beautiful dipping half-volley that gave Michel Vorm no hope. The midfield maestro looked to his adoring fans with a casual smile as they applauded another tremendous goal, and another impressive victory.
Wolverhampton Wanderers 2-3 Aston Villa
Crumbs! I haven’t seen this one either. I know, it’s a shoddy football round-up when there’s a couple of games that I didn’t even get round to watching the highlights of (not to mention the many football league games I always ignore), but I didn’t want to wait any longer on this and I wanted to make sure I keep posting these. Anyway, I’ll stop going on about myself and start talking about the football that I didn’t see.
Robbie Keane has re-integrated himself into the Premier League with a couple of goals. Despite his MLS status, the least you can expect from someone like Robbie Keane is an eye for goal when he is offered the opportunity, and Alex McLeish seems to have devised a plan to keep a number of very reliable strikers at the club. Darren Bent, of course, comes with goals written into his contract. He scored a penalty to put his Premier League tally up to 99 (You may remember me saying he had 99 last week but... I didn’t).
Aston Villa move up to 11th and appear to be heading towards a similar mid-table obscurity to that of Everton. Meanwhile, Wolves just can’t grind results out when it matters. If points were awarded for playing good football and looking generally impressive, Wolves would never be anywhere near the drop zone. However, they have a troublesome tendency to drop points too easily. It needs to change.
Goal of the Weekend: Craig Gardner’s volley that dipped like a rollercoaster and was just as much of a thrill.
Team of the Weekend: I’d be tempted to say Fulham despite having not seen them. Instead I’ll plum for QPR
The ‘Huh, that’s Different’ Award: I’m going to venture into the scary world of the football league and give a mention to the hilarious incident in which Bury players Coke and Schumacher nearly came to blows over who should take a penalty.
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