I may as well be calling this Premier League roundup. That’s what it is really, but you have to ask why on earth would I want to talk about any other league (besides the fact the team I love and hold dear to me is in another league)? Despite the worrying state of our football’s finances, England’s top tier is still the most entertaining in the world. This season has been as good as any other I can remember, and tonight it went more mental. There were more talking points over the last three days of football than there were throughout World War Two, so let’s dive in.
QPR 1-2 Norwich City
First: controversy. You’re going to roll your eyes in predicted dismay at the culprit. Yep, Joey Barton once again finds himself in the middle of a row over his sending off during QPR’s defeat to Norwich. The game had been going well for Barton who capped an excellent move involving Faurlin and Hill to put The R’s 1-0 up. However, soon afterwards he found himself involved in a barney with Bradley Johnson. It looked like handbags, but the referee pulled play a long was back and sent Barton for an early bath due to an alleged headbutt. Norwich subsequently went on to win, with an excellent strike from Pilkington and a goal from Morison sealing three points.
Replays leave the incident ambiguous. It looked like there was very little movement when Barton put his head in, and the linesman (who brought the ‘headbutt’ to the referee’s attention) clearly didn’t see the incident because, as has been pointed out, he didn’t stop play immediately. Barton may have a case for being a whiny moan-smith, but Robbie Savage got it right in saying “He had it coming”. No footballer has a reputation without having earned it, and Barton is known for trouble like this. If he does move his head towards someone the way he did, then he has to know that he runs the risk of somebody assuming that, because it’s Joey Barton, it’s a red card. The decision was wrong, but Barton needs to realise he has a stake in all this fault as well.
This leaves QPR looking a bit vulnerable. They’ve lost a fair bit of rhythm over the past few weeks and now find themselves supported by the dotted relegation line. In many cases, promoted teams lose momentum in the second half of the season, so for new faces to survive, it is massively helpful to have a good haul of points at this stage. Norwich, on the other hand, are doing excellently. I have no doubts they will stay up at all. In fact, if they go down I’ll donate my whole bank balance to charity*.
Newcastle United 0-3 Manchester United
There’s been more twists in this title race than in Harry Redknapp’s face, and the last few days have been no different. Manchester United crashed and burned against Newcastle, recording their second embarrassing defeat in five days. You have to give credit to Newcastle, who looked superb and scored two amazing goals. Oppressed syrup campaigner Demba Ba scored the first with a beautiful flick past Lindegaard. The Senegalese striker has firmly showed himself to be a class act this season, and I’m convinced he is one of the best forwards in the league. He’s so quick to take the shot on and he find the back of the net with terrifying conviction.
Yoann Cabaye added the second with a whistling air-slasher of a free-kick. At this point you begin to expect the classic United comeback but... they haven’t been doing that this season. The traditional groan-worthy turnarounds Fergie’s side is usually capable of have not been seen for a while, and you start to wonder if that will make a difference in this year’s title race. To cap the nightmare off, Phil Jones forgot that he was, for once, playing alongside a vaguely competent goalkeeper and headed back to the middle of the goal, only to find that Lindegaard was already waiting to clear the ball 10 yards away. Chaos ensued, and poor Phil Jones will have to bear the brunt of ridicule for an uncharacteristic mistake. Take nothing away from Newcastle, who were sublime, but this period of struggle is a worry for United.
Manchester City 3-0 Liverpool
To add further concern, the meddlin’ kids from across the road Manchester City recorded a confident win against a lacklustre Liverpool side. With Suarez out, the Scousers struggled with little midfield creativity and no conviction up front. Andy Carroll continued to look like the most expensive practical joke ever, and City eased away into the distance once more. Pepe Reina, a goalkeeper who is usually more reliable than iron, made a hash of Aguero’s early strike, diving right over the top of it to allow City the lead. A Yaya Toure header and James Milner’s penalty added the morale-boosting emphasis to the victory. It was all very efficient from Manchester City, which sends out a big message to the title rivals because, despite their current shortcomings, Liverpool are no mugs.
Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 West Bromwich Albion
Manchester City once again take a three point lead over Man United at the top. That said, Tottenham could be within that same margin should they be victorious over Everton in their game-in-hand next Wednesday. They overcame a resilient West Brom side to record their 13th win of the season. Despite the resolve of Woy’s Baggies, Tottenham’s midfield eventually conspired to ignite the game, with a swift move allowing Defoe to finish a well crafted goal. It was the crazy-haired striker’s 75th league goal for Tottenham, and it leaves them looking every bit as plausible a title candidate as Manchester United.
West Brom continue to show teeth-clenching grit, and though the result didn't go their way against Spurs, the positives are there for Hodgson to gaze and smile at. The team is embroiled in the relegation fight whether they like it or not, but with performances like they have managed in recent times, it seems like The Baggies are well prepared for the tough times that lie ahead. Their attacking play has been diverse and of a strong quality in the last few weeks, and they will continue to battle hard to earn points wherever they can be found.
Wolverhampton Wanderers 1-2 Chelsea
For Chelsea, it was a tale of redemption built on the wobbly grounds of luck. Both the Blues and Wolves showed a great deal of fighting spirit in their game at Molineux on Monday, but as will often happen, the cream gently rose to the top and Chelsea managed to squeeze home a win that maybe shouldn’t have happened.
Based on chances, Chelsea were better. However, Frank Lampard’s tackle on Adam Hammill was horrendous and was adequately worthy of a red card. Lampard was spared by Peter Walton, and it was a good thing too (hint - you’ll see why in a minute). Ramires hooked in the first goal of the game and the Chelsea players all did a strange celebration where they team all snuggled together and showed the manager, or something like that. I didn’t really understand it.
Anyway, Stephen Ward replied with a well taken goal, before Ashley Cole (who was also rather lucky to be on the pitch) exploited Wolves’ poor defending down the wing and drilled the ball in for Lampard to convert. It was desperately unlucky for Wolves, who nearly sprung a late equaliser but were denied by the capable fingers of Petr Cech. It’s the slightly fortuitous result that Chelsea needed badly. They were scrabbling around on the floor in the dark, desperately hoping for a shard of form to return, and they finally caressed their fingers upon a lonely slice of fortune.
Arsenal 1-2 Fulham
Arsenal found themselves back in “pre-van-Persie-being-absolutely-bloody-incredible” form with their disappointing defeat to Fulham. It was an encapsulating game with chances for both teams. Arsenal had the early wind in their sails, with Gervinho deserving a penalty before Koscielny, whose name sounds like piece of paper being scrunched up, headed home a simple opener.
Fulham responded well, as Bryan Ruiz made a nuisance of himself for the Arsenal defence. Actually, I should use this opportunity to retract my earlier statements about Bryan Ruiz having done nothing. He looks like he’s got a good deal of quality about him. The home side continued to press, and Djourou stupidly got himself sent-off for two well warranted bookings. This broke the latch for Fulham, with Sidwell scrambling in a header before Zamora won it with a dramatic late goal. In the midst of all this Arsene Wenger tragically lost one of his pockets.
Everton 1-2 Bolton Wanderers
One of the bigger spectacles of the last three days (that is an awkward phrase – I really want to say weekend; damn January) was at Goodison Park. It was windier than Auntie Nora, and this gave us one of the more extravagant moments of the Premier League season thus far. Tim Howard, using his godly powers, commanded the wind to blow forth above Adam Bogdan at exactly the wrong moment, and his routine clearance became a goal of which the distance has never been seen before (in the Premier League). Howard refused to celebrate in the wake of his red-faced opposite. “It’s a freak” cried the commentator. He’s not that ugly, many responded.
This wasn’t enough to curb the vigour of Bolton, who pressed on looking for any sniff of precious points. Four minutes later, laugh-a-minute waste machine David N’Gog skilfully dragged the ball into the box before unleashing an excellent finish to equalise for The Trotters. Late on, wantaway defender Gary Cahill utilised Eagles’ insightful pass with a very well-taken strike to get Bolton an unexpected and cherished win. It was a result that you would have maybe expected from the Bolton of last season, at that will be encouraging to the fans, as well as Owen Coyle.
Blackburn Rovers 1-2 Stoke City
Meanwhile, fellow Lancashire bottom-dwellers Blackburn had another ropey day, losing at Ewood Park for the eighth time this season. This time the benefiters were Stoke City, who largely had lanky bean sprout Peter Crouch to thank. For both of Stoke’s goals, Crouch chested the ball down before thumping the ball past the goalkeeper. It was shoddy defending from Blackburn, who had a goal disallowed early on. They earned a consolation goal when the hilariously named David Goodwillie poked home in some goalmouth madness, but Jonathan Woodgate’s goal-line stop prevented Rovers from stealing a point.
It’s another blow for Steve Kean who, despite clinging onto a new rung with the win at Old Trafford, has allowed another finger to slip. Kean also received a further blow when Morten Gamst Pedersen committed a vicious assault on his manager, crashing through him and sending him tumbling like a bowling ball falling off a rack. In his post-match interview Kean remarked “I’m kicking myself”. Well, looks like Pedersen was doing that for you (Chuckle, guffaw).
Aston Villa 0-2 Swansea City
Swansea put in one of their best performances of the season to overturn Aston Villa, achieving their first three point haul away from home. Stephen Warnock was at fault for the opener, although Nathan Dyer did squeeze the ball into a very tight gap to conjure up the first goal of the game. Swansea had the confidence to stride a million miles every time they went forward, and it was severely entertaining for the fans at Villa Park. Having continued to pile on the pressure like slabs of mashed potato, Swansea eventually scored their second with a goal from Routledge. N’Zogbia hit the post late on, but Villa submitted to the defeat.
It was truly inspiring for Swansea. All season they’ve been playing good football. Sometimes it has worked for them, sometimes it has been a pitfall. This display, however, was one of supreme quality and it’s difficult to see how a side that can play so well will end up as one of the worst three teams of the season. I expect we’ll see them in the comforts of mid-table.
Wigan Athletic 1-4 Sunderland
And finally, the most goals of this round-up were scored at the DW Stadium (That’s Wigan’s one, incase the modern name threw you off, granddad). The Martin O’Neill steam train continued to chug along with another impressive victory. It was another miserably rainy and windy affair (Probably doesn’t even deserve to be a footnote considering the game was played at Wigan) and the conditions probably benefitted Craig Gardner, who slammed home a brilliant free-kick. This was following by James McClean pogoing around in the area before heading in a second and Stephane Sessegnon continuing to write power over everything he does by capping off a nice move for the third. Rodallega was able to deflect a response between those two goals, but it was meaningless, as David Vaughan smashed home a fourth to complete the romp.
Wigan find themselves in the relegation zone still. They are used to this though, and that will stand them in good stead over the coming months. Wigan’s target has always been to stay up, and they will not be downbeat to find themselves in the scrap. It’s expected, and Martinez knows how to lead his men to ultimate safety. I believe they’ll dig themselves to safety somehow once more, despite this hefty defeat.
Goal of the Three Days: Tim Howard’s, because it was the most enchanting
Team of the Weekend: Swansea, who looked good in every department
The ‘Huh, that’s Different’ Award: Arsene Wenger, for losing his pockets.
*My current bank balance is about -£300. Cough up Oxfam.
Finally, RIP Gary Ablett and the fan that died at White Hart Lane yesterday. Both terrible pieces of news.
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