Iceland in the Ascendency

Iceland fans are celebrating unprecedented success.

With the European Championships expanding from 16 to 24 teams, the qualification campaign for France 2016 seemed unlikely to generate much significant discussion. There were fears that the larger teams would coast into the competition having broken barely a bead of sweat, while Europe's perennial whipping boys would continue to battle against conceding double figures in every tie. The only real drama, it appeared, would be from middling nations scrapping for play-off places.

But a spread of fascinating narratives across the continent has spiced up the intrigue in this deceptively straightforward elimination process. Wales have seized their best opportunity to qualify for a major tournament since 1958, by surprisingly dominating a group containing the much-fancied Belgians. On the flipside, 2004 champions Greece have suffered the indignity of defeats to Faroe Islands, which has summed up a tumultuous qualification campaign in which they are now on their third manager.

Flying, under the radar

Iceland's diminutive stature provides a stark contrast to their brilliant form.

These are fascinating tales of massively changing fortunes, but while these steal the column inches, the extraordinary events of Group A arguably mark the most significant upset taking place in Europe. Iceland, a nation with the miniscule population of just 300,000 people, could be making their major tournament debut next summer. This is impressive enough, but the manner in which Iceland may qualify is truly astounding.

No-one would have given Strákarnir okkar much more than a prayer five years ago, and despite a good 2014 World Cup qualification campaign, a tough group kept their hopes similarly watered down. Iceland were pitted against the Netherlands, Czech Republic and Turkey - three strong nations, and even with a play-off place for third, Iceland seemed like just an outside hope. 

Iceland's double Dutch success

As well as victories over Holland, Iceland have triumphed over Turkey and Czech Republic.

Flash forward to today, and Iceland have climbed above all of these teams. With three games to go, Iceland have already assured a play-off place, and have an 8 point cushion for automatic qualification - capable mathematicians will spot that this means just one more victory will propel Iceland into a historic first major tournament.

Amongst Iceland's most impressive performances in the campaign are two victories over the Netherlands. This ought not to be taken lightly - Holland reached the semi-finals of the last World Cup, which included a 5-1 victory over previous champions Spain. Iceland beat them 2-0 at home almost a year ago, capitalising on a laboured performance from the Dutch with two Gylfi Sigurdsson goals. 

However, tonight's 1-0 win at the Amsterdam ArenA displays Iceland's legitimate international pedigree, proving that they are beyond just triumphing over jaded giants. Some sources suggest that Iceland managed to keep 71% of the possession, a ridiculous statistic if true. Neither of these victories were fluke results, but illustrated the culmination of Iceland as a well-oiled machine of a side.

What has changed for Iceland to become sudden heavyweights?

A novel coaching team

Lars Lagerback's arrival has had a monumental impact.

Iceland's ascendency can be traced back to 2011, with the appointment of Lars Lagerback. Lagerback was Sweden manager between 2000 and 2009, during which he led the Swedes to qualify for every major tournament besides the 2010 World Cup. With such an excellent track record, Iceland's appointment of Lagerback is a coup that may have turned the course of the nation's history. 

According to Lagerback, the Icelandic FA didn't set their new manager any specific targets, but he quickly set about changing the mentality of the team. Lagerback focussed on maximising the efficiency of Iceland's players with astute, comprehensive tactical planning. As well as this, he looked to develop a professional, strong and positive attitude from his squad.

His success was almost immediate - it's easy to forget that Iceland were just one victory away from reaching the 2014 World Cup. An impressive campaign saw them finish second to Switzerland, and the (ultimately, and blamelessly, inexperienced) team came up short against Croatia in the play-offs. Despite this gut-wrenchingly close call, the progress Iceland had made was unmistakable. In 2013, the Icelandic FA took the novel approach of promoting Lagerback's assistant manager Heimir Hallgrimsson to joint-head coach. The arc of progress has remained consistent, and Lagerback's considerable achievements may be topped if Iceland can make history.

Star men

Gylfi Sigurdsson's creative flair, set-piece prowess and ability to keep the ball has been vital.

Just as Wales' surge in form can be partly credited to having a star talent in Gareth Bale, Iceland can look to Gylfi Sigurdsson as the talisman for their recent success. Sigurdsson tops the scoring charts in Group A with 5 goals, including three against Holland. Though he may not be an £85million megastar in the same way as Bale, Sigurdsson's value to Iceland is incalculable, and Lagerback has previously reserved special praise for his top attacking-midfielder. 

Though Sigurdsson draws the plaudits for his attacking talent, it should be noted that Iceland's defence has performed just as remarkably. The combined efforts of Ragnar Sigurdsson, Birkir Saevarsson, Ari Skulason and Kari Arnason, along with goalkeeper Hannes Halldorsson, mean that Iceland have conceded just three goals throughout the entire campaign (one of which was an own goal). The combination of capable attacking flair and solid defending has made Iceland an imperious opponent.

Real contenders?

Iceland will reach Euro 2016 - but just how far can they go?

With only one more win required, and home fixtures to Kazakhstan and Latvia still to come, Iceland's qualification is almost assured. A massive bridge will have been crossed, but Iceland won't dwell on simply reaching Euro 2016 - there is plenty of reason to believe that they could go further.

One of the implications of the new 24-team format means that it will be possible to qualify for the knockout fixtures by finishing third in the group stages. Given Iceland's excellent results in qualifying, Lars Lagerback will likely see this as an absolute minimum for the team, and will potentially even eye a quarter-final given the team's penchant for causing upsets.

Iceland's prospects will be brightened by their current world ranking position of 23rd, which should make it likely that they compete in a group free from the 'big nations'. Nevertheless, if Iceland do find themselves in a group of death, Lagerback will have no qualms about attempting to pull off the shock he managed when bringing Sweden into the knockout stages of the 2002 World Cup, eliminating Argentina in the process.

Iceland's story is already a major surprise, but the biggest shock may be yet to come.

You are tearing us apart, debt!

Erik Huseklepp to Birmingham, Liam Lawrence to Cardiff, Stephen Henderson to West Ham, and now Hayden Mullins to Reading. Despite a resilient spirit, our Pompey team is being torn limb from limb, and now we lay desolate in the gutters of the Championship. We now have the choice - we can try to get up and fight our tormentor once more in what will almost certainly be a vain bid for glory. Or, we can cut our losses and plan a life away from this monstrosity.

The befuddling metaphor above (and I'm not trying to be condescending when I refer to it as befuddling; I don't really understand it) regard's what I see as Pompey's choice now. We are faced with a pretty dire situation - Pompey sit eight points adrift of safety and are being broken up into pieces by an administrator who is, surprisingly, doing his job effectively. We must now decide whether we shall continue to battle against relegation, or admit defeat and concentrate all efforts into keeping the club alive.

At the moment it seems we are hedging our bets a little, and that's not the right way to go about it. What started as a squad capable of dealing with the ten points deduction is being whittled down into a demoralised mess. However, loans are still being brought into the side (albeit they are probably wage-free) and some of the club's major earners continue to play for the team. It's difficult to speculate on what measures may have been taken to remove some of these players, but if we were truly concentrating on financial survival, every single one should have been attempted.

It may be that we are doing our best to tick both boxes. Whilst steps are being made towards saving the club, the administrator may not want to take truly radical approaches to the situation in the interests of the footballing aspect of the team. However the time for radical steps is now, and while I can see the argument for both a gun-ho bid for survival financially, and a fully concerted effort to keep the club in the division, I cannot see how it is beneficial to try and do both.

Let us first consider survival in the league. Probably a less desirable option with regards to the short-term future of the club, one could still argue that the money drawn in from being in the second tier of the football league would justify not loaning out key members of the squad. Increased attendances and advertising revenue could all be considered as vital for the future of the club, so relegation could possibly be seen as a bigger disaster financially than continuing to pay the wages of the players.

On the other hand, there is the option to make every possible decision that will benefit the club financially. Firstly, this should involve the attempt to sell each and every player on the club's books. If this is unsuccessful, then each player should be given the option to either play for free, or to dissolve their contract with immediate effect (for free) and pursue their playing career at other clubs. If all that fails, then the club may even resort to a simple refusal to pay their players. This could lead to legal battles, but one would question whether or not a former player of Pompey would feel comfortable filing a legal suit that would potentially see the death of the club.

In place of the broken squad should go the youth team, or even local players (or just fans - I'd fancy myself to score more than Dave Kitson at the moment) who are willing to play for the club for free. While this measure would inevitably lead to relegation (and possibly lower attendances, although the novelty of having a completely inexperienced team on the field might be a draw to begin with), it would make every possible step to ensure the club's survival. If it was successful, then the club could try and build themselves up from League One, and that wouldn't be a disaster. We've seen teams like Leeds, Norwich, Leicester and even... them come out of the third tier looking a lot healthier.

Personally, I think our decision has already been made. We're too far off of 21st place, too many players have gone and it would be far too much of a risk to put a real push into staying up this year. We must now sacrifice the rest of this season in a last ditch attempt to keep the club alive. It may not work, but we don't want to be ruing the fact that we kept players on the books for an unsuccessful shot at keeping the team in the league.

I've done this post in about a half-an-hour (I'm between lectures), so I'm not really sure if my sentiments are coherent on this one (I say that like I'm normally sure, but that's far from true). However, my general feeling is that I can accept League One. I can accept some awful performances and scorelines for the rest of the season. I can even tolerate a bit of embarrassment on April 7th. If there's even a thread of hope that we can keep the club in business, then I think it only makes sense to begrudgingly pull out all the stops to make it happen.

Luising His Head

It's not just a controversy. It's a storm. A whirlwind of terror and rage building up with the two instigators in the middle, infrequently bashing against each other in a spinning cataclysm that sends shockwaves throughout an entranced world. Yesterday a volcano erupted dead in the centre, with a botched handshake, a tunnel spat and an over-zealous celebration just a handful of the outrageous incidents.

It's a real mess of blame and shifted responsibility. It needs somebody reasonable to stretch out the situation like a wet towel, and point out exactly where each of the stains are and who's fault they were. What? Oh, did you just mutter "You should do it then". Well, that's extremely kind of you. I didn't expect that. Well alright then, I'll give it a shot if you really think I can.

Actually, I don't need to. Alan Green did a perfect job of diffusing the situation of 606 earlier, by consistently pressing forward the notion that Suarez had no obligation to shake Evra's hand whilst feigning condemnation of the very same act. He also started claiming that Suarez couldn't be a racist, because he shook the hands of a few other black people, which is akin to saying that Nick Griffin isn't racist because he ate curry once. People rightly came in to criticise Green, and as he began to backtrack on his comments, everyone became so confused about what his point was that I think they actually broke him. At the end he started saying "Oh, it's been a long day at work". It was utterly bizarre radio.

But either way, I don't think the incident is that hard to judge when you look at it. Let's put aside, for one moment, the original incident of racial abuse and whether or not Suarez's alleged comments did actually happen. Ignore that point for one second. Suarez really should have looked at how this whole incident has affected his reputation and the way he is perceived. Regardless of the incessant details of the incident a few months ago, Suarez must have been aware that a failure to shake Evra's hand was going to look tremendously petulant. It was really idiotic. Of course, Suarez has the right not to shake Evra's hand, but if he doesn't then not only is he an idiot, but he opens himself to any racially-charged perceptions people may see in his refusal. Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean you want be correctly condemned if you do it.

Now this whole incident has led to people questioning the validity of the handshake at the beginning of the football match. I still think it's an important facet of a football game. It's good to have a showing of respect towards your opponent before the game, and it encourages gentlemanly conduct. People may renege on the handshake in severe cases but this is not something that incites a feud, it merely confirms it. Some have suggested that a handshake should take place at the end of the game, but I can't see that becoming a formal part of routine, and I believe this would be even more of a problem on occasions where things got heated on the pitch.

So Suarez not shaking Evra's hand was stupid. Really stupid. And all those people posting images and videos trying to prove Evra was actually the one who rejected the handshake are truly laughable. It's like a mini-faction of conspiracy theorists have infiltrated football, showing highly deceptive images and pointing out minute details whilst ignoring the bigger picture. I'm surprised they're not calling it an inside job, to be honest. Let's be fair though, Evra does seem to be a little hesitant about the handshake, but can you blame him? Suarez supposedly racially abused Evra, it's not as if Patrice is going to give him the firmest of handshakes. Either way, he was not the one who didn't offer his hand.

After a slow half of football came a little bit more anger from Suarez. Clearly riled up about something (I'm not exactly sure what considering it was him who decided not to participate in the handshake - seriously, what was he expecting?) he reacted very badly to a perfectly fair Rio Ferdinand tackle, and violently kicked the ball away in fury as the half-time whistle was blown. Little is known of what followed, but police and stewards were forced to break up a brewing rage in the tunnel. I'm going to go on a whim and say that Suarez and Evra were maybe involved in that, but the post-match comments don't seem to allude to what really happened there, so it's difficult to say. For all we know, it could have been Carroll and Berbatov having a lazy fight where they just exasperatedly pushed each other a bit before going off for a nap...

Thankfully, a football match pushed it's way out of the mud and took a deep breath of the cold wintry air, allowing itself to manifest as a 2-1 victory to Manchester United. It was a worthy result that meant a lot to the United team, but Evra's post-match antics were undoubtedly uncalled for. Though I wouldn't say the incident was of the severity of Suarez's (and almost certainly was instigated by the Uruguayan anyway), clearly Evra's only achievement was to antagonise the situation even further, which was rather reckless of him.

So that was the on-field action and it's tempting to say that had the managers both condemned their players' acts of foolishness and said little more on the incident, a significant amount less would have been made out of the nasty debacle. I use the word 'tempting' because that's almost certainly not true, but it's a nice thought anyway. Instead, Kenny Dalglish and Alex Ferguson both made controversial statements, although it's no doubt who's interview came across worse. King Kenny's interview seemed to be going smoothly enough, but when questioned about the handshake incident, Dalglish denied that he was aware that it happened (which I struggle to believe) and consequently got furious at Geoff Shreeves for blaming Suarez for anything, mumbling something about the fans and then ending the interview.

Alex Ferguson's comments were a little inflammatory as well. He suggested that Liverpool should sell Suarez in what was otherwise a fairly reasonable interview. It was a rash comment maybe, but nothing more than that. I know it seems like I'm condemning Liverpool a lot harder at the moment, but the truth is when you compare these things objectively, there's really little argument to be had. Whilst Ferguson was calm and addressed all the incidents, Dalglish became incandescent as soon as Suarez was in any way condemned. There's little way to justify it in any other light.

However, today's apologies have been more than welcomed. Suarez has issued a statement admitting he 'got things wrong', and Dalglish accepted that he had not 'conducted himself in a way befitting of a Liverpool manager. These apologies, whether they are sincere or not, should be embraced by all fans, especially Liverpool supporters. Yesterday's incidents were an unfortunate mix of anger and bitterness that just happened to rear their ugly heads. They were mistakes, and it's good to see that both Suarez and Dalglish are willing to put their hands up to them. United also released a statement that looked to put a chunky bucket of water over the fire, meaning both clubs are happy to move away from the trouble.

So should Ferguson and Evra apologise? I don't think Ferguson should. Perhaps it would be good form If Evra admitted his celebrations were over-zealous, but I'm not sure it's necessary now. Either way, we have to move on from this tremendous farce. Not only does it not paint a good image of English football, but when other black players see the ridiculous furore that has happened thanks to racial abuse being reported, it will only serve to discourage them from alerting people to when they are racially abused themselves. If this sort of thing is allowed to drag so far in the future, complaining about racial abuse will just be seen as a hassle, followed by a long, unhappy grudge.

Furthermore, the faction of Liverpool supporters that are still showing ardent defence for Suarez need to start considering that their heroes may not just be honorable victims. Whilst the merits of an independent report can be disputed (if you're into that sort of thing), what happened yesterday was plain to see. I'm amazed that some people seem capable of upholding this victimisation view though - really, it's akin to spinning a helicopter in a beach hut, but the best step would be to understand that this was an unpleasant incident that doesn't need to be stretched on any further, and move on.

I haven't helped by talking about it again though.

A Growing F.A.rce

How does a stuttering shambles turn into a complete circus act? Just consult the England National football team, which has gone from being a rusted piece of heavy machinery to a complete trainwreck. The past week has not only re-emphasised a consistently failing organisation, but cast a new light upon the utter ridiculousness embodied in this turgid mess.

It was following much pressure that John Terry was alleviated from his captain duties last week. Whether or not you agree with this decision is beside the point though; what followed is a striking example of the miscommunication and chaotic management the England team suffers from. Fuzzy puppet Fabio Capello admitted he wasn’t consulted on Terry’s dismissal, nor did he agree with the decision. The FA today bit back by saying that with his words, Capello had committed an act that was in conflict with a contractual agreement. Even the coalition government radiates solidarity more effectively than this.

It’s difficult to understand why, given how drawn out the John Terry incident has become, the FA were not able to consult Capello on this matter before making a decision. Even if Capello had disagreed with the actions, this would have given both sides a chance to explain their position before showing a united front in the public. Instead, we now have the England manager saying that there are team decisions being made with which he is not entirely happy. How a governing body can allow this to happen truly boggles the mind.

The FA have illustrated for a long time that their ability to control the national football team is poor. Of course, the most visceral judgement we’ll make regarding this is our performance in the major tournaments, and over a long period of time this is a fair way of analysing their performance, but of course some managers just don’t fit and sometimes tournaments just don’t go your way. It has to be said though, their managerial choices are rushed and appear to be a constant bow to public pressure, but this isn’t the main issue as to why the FA is failing.

The largest problem is the stunning lack of foresight the FA has when making any sort of decision regarding the manager or the direction of the football team in general. For example, they fell for Capello’s trick to swindle a contract extension out of them before the World Cup. All Capello had to do was drum up some rumours about the possibility he would move, and the FA would gleefully bend over backwards to keep him at the helm. I’m not saying he did do that. Of course, I wouldn’t be allowed to say that. But either way, that extension probably made it financially impossible for Capello to be sacked straight after the World Cup, putting him in a position where there was no pressure to perform (clearly).

But even that doesn’t quite illustrate how poor the FA’s planning is. To try and explain my point, I have to really talk about the last 10 years of England’s history. During that time, we’ve had three different managers. When cuddly Swedish man Sven Goran-Eriksson was in charge, he kept the first eleven pretty much the same throughout his reign, with minor changes when players either retired or new young starlets burst onto the scene. As a man manager and tactician Sven was probably about average, but his focus and consistency with team selections allowed the team to perform moderately well.

 It was during this time when England looked the most likely to win a tournament. After looking quite strong, we lost to Brazil at the World Cup 2002, who went on to win it. We then lost on the dreaded penalties to Portugal in Euro 2004, again after playing some decent football. In 2006 however, Sven’s preferred eleven was starting to look older and Sven himself had become embroiled in scandal. It was at this point the England team started to fall apart, and after a muted performance at the 2006 World Cup the team desperately needed a new direction. Sven was removed, and this was going to be a crucial appointment for the FA to make.

The FA went for bewildered ombrophobe Steve McClaren, who is unfortunately one of the most notorious disaster stories in English management history. It was a massive mistake to appoint somebody who had been a part of Sven’s management team, as this meant McClaren had taken a lot of influence from the Swede and maybe felt pressured to keep using the players that had been so integral in the previous years. As it was, McClaren employed the same ideas that had started to fail for Sven, and the deterioration of the England team this time was so dramatic, McClaren failed to even qualify for the European Championships.

This whole episode was more damaging than you might think. Not only had England embarrassingly failed to qualify for a major tournament, but the development of a team for the World Cup 2010 had been set back two years whilst McClaren fumblingly shuffled the old players around trying to find the best formula. What would have been more useful is if somebody younger, untouched by the old reign and with undeniable potential had taken the job, and had been told by the FA that they should use the Euro 2008 qualifiers as an opportunity to get a team playing well together. That way, England would have optimised their potential for the World Cup 2010, which to almost everyone, is the more important competition and should therefore be prioritised.

It may seem a bit rash, but there’s a lot to be said for team chemistry. You may think it’s a little ineffectual, but when you look at the major successes in international football, you usually find that those players have played in a similar eleven for a long time and have built up an understanding with each other. Just take Spain. That team has a core of players that know each other inside-out, and as a result Spain are one of the most flowing and competent teams on the planet.

England just never get the opportunity to make that fresh start though. We are far too preoccupied with the tournament at hand, that we never anticipate anything beyond it. Let’s be frank – we won’t win Euro 2012. We knew that from the moment our qualifying campaign started. So with this in mind, why didn’t we use this experience as an opportunity to plant the seeds of a new young side that would have to potential to challenge for future World Cups? Sure, we might not have qualified for Euro 2012, but so what? If it’s a team of youngsters learning the ropes the hard way, then we’d be all the better for it in the end.

So anyway, back to bashing the FA. Following the catastrophe that was Steve McClaren’s tenure, the FA decided they would give the national team a different approach and appointed Fabio Capello. This was a good idea, but they made the mistake of employing someone who was already 61, and therefore unlikely to see the team past a couple of tournaments. This also meant that Capello wanted to achieve results straight away, so once again we had a team of players who were hanging over from the last generation so we could achieve more comfortable victories in the qualifiers. The benefits weren’t felt though, as England once again whimpered out of the World Cup and the FA sheepishly tied up Capello’s contract for what would be two more wasted years.

Now we reach today, and what we see is an unmitigated disaster. Not only is the team struggling, but we now have the manager at odds with the FA. A precedent has now been set that the FA can make petty decisions regarding things such as captaincy. And finally, the most likely candidate for the England job once Capello has finished is facing a possible prison sentence. It’s a remarkable mess, and one I fear will only grow unless the FA mark out England’s intentions as a football team and make a decision that will pay dividends, perhaps not immediately, but over time.

Hus a Klepper boy?

Peterborough United 0-3 Portsmouth

It's been an utterly horrible week for Pompey fans. From Monday to Friday, the news outlets seemed to be in a competition with each other to depress the Portsmouth supporters the most. Every story became grim, grimmer and grimmest. However, throughout these difficult periods, we tend to do our best to block out the trauma and concentrate on the football, and that would have been made ever sweeter by the tremendous victory over Peterborough this Saturday.

As I squoze myself into the rather cramped little seats offered by the Posh, I was very impressed by the growing Pompey turnout. Given the nature of our club's situation, the fact that London Road is a paltry little stadium, the problem of the game changing dates quite recently and just generally bad away performance all season, I was expecting a meagre turnout from the Blue Army. I'm not a seasoned away-game traveller, so I suppose I still harbour a little naivety. Pompey brought up 1500. A number that spoke a resilience and determination to keep singing the Pompey chimes.

The Blue Army was louder too. Songs of celebration, encouragement and the occasional jibes of self-derision exploded out of the away stand. Meanwhile, a clearly weary Peterborough support watched on in a pained silence. Who could blame them? After only a few minutes, Futacs header was spurned by Joe Lewis, and after bouncing the ball off a defender for a bit, Huseklepp casually lifted the ball into the net to give Pompey the lead.

The side showed a lot of composure throughout the game. Despite that fact that Peterborough dominated possession for long periods of the game, Portsmouth were comfortable with that and defended competently enough for it to make little difference. Both Pearce and Rocha were outstanding in the way they coped with Peterborough's advances with the ball, although it would have to be justified that Peterborough's attacking display was boorishly one-dimensional and lacked any creativity.

After a couple of Posh's long range efforts found their way safely into the stands, Pompey began to attack once more. A simple corner goal, the like you see too often against bad defences, was converted by Jason Pearce. Already the die seemed to have been cast. Peterborough seemed out of breath from the first whistle, and resembled a team that was low on morale.

Cue a tremendously poor penalty at half-time, courtesy of a Peterborough fan who consequently missed his opportunity to make £500. Bizarrely, this was easily the most noise the Posh faithful made throughout the entire day (and probably their best effort on goal).

During the second half, Peterborough had a minor resurgence. If I was to size it, it would be half a peg. Actually, maybe a quarter. The point is, it was only a tiny bit better than their performance had been thus far. You maybe have to sympathise with their midfield, because they did do an excellent job of keeping the ball and trying to move it around, but they were stifled by a complete emptiness in ideas.

In either case, Huseklepp's clinical finishing ended any possible hope the home supporters had. It was difficult to see the third goal from the away end, but whoever set the goal up played a clever little ball to Huseklepp in space (the BBC says it was Etuhu, but the highlights clearly show the passer was white). He did a nice curly shot around the 'keeper, and that sealed the cake.

So another three points for Appleton, who has not only kept up some excellent home form, but has reinvigorated us on our travels. The way we set out seemed very intelligent. We didn't look to press the team so much as allow them to become frustrated with their lack of incisiveness. Our attacking was very effective, and that has to be a major positive when it comes to gaining this type of result.

Match Ratings

Stephen Henderson - 7 - Barely had anything to do. Was competent enough when called upon.

Greg Halford - 7.5 - Played his part in a rock solid defence. Made a couple of decent runs forward.

Jason Pearce - 9 - As comfortable as a baby mouse in a blanket. Barely put a foot wrong and was unbeatable in the air.

Ricardo Rocha - 8 - Coped with all the pressure thrown at him and didn't break a sweat. He seems to be forming an excellent partnership with Pearce in the games I've seen. As much as Rocha is getting on, I think he's a good influence for the young defender.

Tal Ben-Haim - 7 - His job was to defend, and he did that. Just don't ask him to pass I suppose.

Joel Ward - 6.5 - Lost him to be honest. I'm guessing that may be because we didn't really control possession at all, so he won't have stood out.

Hayden Mullins - 8 - His passing was very impressive, and he was constantly trying to get his foot on the ball. One of his better performances.

Liam Lawrence - 7.5 - Created chances and made things happen. What you'd expect of Lawrence.

Kelvin Etuhu - 7.5 - He looks like he might end up being a frustrating talent. He had a few moments of class, and if his attitude is right he could be an excellent player for the club.

Marko Futacs - 7 - Not as influential as I'd hoped he would be, but he played a big part in a very successful attack.

Erik Huseklepp - 9 - When he is called upon in front of goal, he delivers. Always seemed to be a class above the drowsy Peterborough play.

MAN OF THE MATCH: Erik Huseklepp
Villain of the Match - Peterborough's penalty-taking fan

Survival Instincs

Winding-Up orders. Administration. Points deductions. Players being sold. HMRC. Non-existence. Kelvin Etuhu.

Just a number of things Portsmouth Football club has been threatened with over the past few weeks. It's been a frustrating, confusing and difficult time for anybody associated with the club, and I think everyone has been embittered so many times that they're starting to wonder if a fresh start would be the best option. Even if it meant a throw down to the lower divisions and a long steady rise back up, perhaps this would be Portsmouth most desirable ticket out of the dirge.

I have tried hard to gather my thoughts on this. I've begun following a myriad of excellent Portsmouth blogs that keep track of the situation tremendously well. I could never offer a summation as good as those that I have seen, but my pure feeling on the matter resides with my survival instincts. I want us to survive, by any means possible, and for that I defend my club when the case is perhaps indefensible.

As a business, there's little denying that Portsmouth Football Club is lucky to still be running, and seems to be heading inevitably towards a timely demise. They owe HMRC another £1.6m, and there are suggestions that the club are not running profitably enough to pay off their existing CVA. Any other company operating under such circumstances would be seen as a complete black hole and promptly shut down.

However, I want to call back to my recent article 'Death of a Football Club' (referring to Darlington). In it, I argued that football clubs aren't businesses. If you think they are, you aren't a football fan - sorry (I hope I didn't break that news to you harshly). A football club the size of Portsmouth is a necessity to the sport. You have a sizable fanbase of paying customers that will be totally disillusioned with the game if the club ceases to exist. You have an institute of footballing history that, should it be destroyed, would pose a permanent and serious question about the state of English football (consider that a club which won the FA Cup in 2008 should not exist four years later - what sort of thing would that suggest).

It could also capture the intrigue of investors. If they see a club with the potential profitability of Portsmouth Football Club going out of business, they may begin to think twice about plugging millions into the game. I think it will take a bigger domino to tumble in order for the big investors to pull out of football, but I'm certain Pompey's death will be worth more than just a glance from the men with the money.

All this is really saying is that there's many entities, some simply supporters and others major organisations in the sport, that will take a heavy blow from Pompey ceasing to be. You can argue that Portsmouth have to be taught a lesson and an example should be set for other clubs, but I must stress that these 'retribution' arguments get aimed at the wrong people. If Portsmouth Football Club dies, it's not the owners who turned Pompey into a financial catastrophe that will suffer. It's the fans. It's not the chief executives that allowed gross overspending who will bear the brunt of Pompey's demise. It'll be the employees of the club.

Of course FIFA and the FA need to make it as clear as a greenhouse that clubs have to operate in a financially stable manner. This is presumably what points deductions are for. However, I don't think a club folding teaches anyone anything, other than if you end up with the wrong owners, hard luck, that's the end of your football team.

This will all probably look self-centred and unreasonable to anyone who isn't a Portsmouth fan, but you must consider your own ties and passions to a football club. You will defend to the death that they are worthy of a place in existence, regardless of their previous actions and financial woes. I'm no different. There may even be some ridiculous people claiming that it's the fans fault in the first place. I'm not even joking there, I've been on websites where people have retorted "Well, you never protested when you were winning the FA Cup, so I have no sympathy for the fans. Let the club die."

Right. Two problems with that. 1. Nobody asked for your sympathy. 2. What the hell kind of fanbase would be protesting having just won the FA Cup? Nobody could have possibly known that Pompey were travelling headlong into disaster at that point. After all, practically every Premier League club was living beyond its means. The only difference with us was that Gaydamak's debts got called in, and that's when everything turned sour. I don't think you can blame fans purely on the fact that they aren't Nostradamuses and weren't able to fortell that there was a tremendous mismanagement occurring.

That's just a minor section of fans who have never had to worry about so much as a relegation fight though. When you go through these motions, not only do you appreciate the football itself more, but you realise that the strength and loyalty of a fanbase makes little difference in these situations. The problem is, and always has been, that fans have little control over the owners of their club. The only protection they have from their club being taken over by a nutcase is the FA's Fit and Proper Persons' Test. I'll allow you to consider whether or not you think this has been effective, but if you aren't sure here's a hint: We've had four sets of owners in a row who have allowed the financial chaos at Portsmouth Football Club to grow.

But yeah, I guess that's the fans' fault.

Football Round-Up: Some Great Foot-Bal-To-Tell-Yi About

It was Super Soccer Special Sky Sports Smashing Spectacular Stunning Sunday yesterday, so naturally the most significant action of the weekend took place on the Sabbath. However, there were stories galore and this here little page is all set to round them up like cattle. Even though I just made a point about how much more occurred than the two Sunday games, I’m going to be a hypocritical monster and start with yesterday’s action.

Manchester City 3-2 Tottenham Hotspur

So nearly was this City’s first slip on home turf this season. However, the league leaders were able to stabilise themselves just in the final nick of time, as they overcame a resurgent Tottenham side to retain their 100% record at the Etihad Stadium. Just as Redknapp’s Spurs began to look like a reasonable bet for the title, they encountered the toughest fixture in their calendar. Pulling a determined face, they braved the worst of the storm as they went 2-0 down, and without so much as glancing at the ground, pulled themselves back into the game. Despite losing the match a stroke before the final whistle, Tottenham will continue to be encouraged about their own ability from this match.

The first half was a simmering affair that suggested a game could be on the cards somewhere along the line. After neither team really threatened, the game sprung into life like a squirrel being awoken by an angry fox. On the 56^th minute, David Silva being the silky awesomeness he is, sliced the defence apart with a wonderful threaded pass to Samir Nasri, who took on the shot first time with an extremely clinical finish. City celebrated, but didn’t let their minds wander as a few minutes later, a corner was whipped in and Joleon Lescott used all of his body to bundle the ball into the back of the net. Tottenham had been destroyed by a three minute double-salvo.

As much as this can deflate teams, Tottenham are a strong balloon. Hang on, that metaphor still suggests weakness. Actually, they’re more like a football. A leather one. Stronger. Well, anyway, you know what I mean. What I’m trying to say is that Jermain Defoe pulled one back when Savic made an error and allowed the titchy striker a one-on-one opportunity with Hart, which the experienced Defoe would not refuse.

Before City could wipe their eyes with shock, Gareth Bale had levelled things to 2-2 with a sumptuous curled finish from range. Having enjoyed that brilliant goal, Tottenham begun to sense a victory on the horizon. Both sides were having chances up until the last few minutes, when Spurs came within inches of an incredible victory. Gareth Bale pounced on another Savic mistake and powered forward into the box. He pulled the ball back for Defoe who, stretching all 3 foot 7 of him, could only deflect the ball wide of the post.

Naturally, when there’s a story at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli isn’t far away. This time he was involved in a nasty and practically indefensible incident before winning and scoring the decisive penalty. Having tangled up with midfield rock Scott Parker, Balotelli appeared to direct a stamp towards Parker’s head. It had a regrettable deal of intent about it, and Balotelli will be lucky to escape a severe punishment for the incident.

However, right after Tottenham missed their massive opportunity, Ledley King brought Balotelli down in the Spurs penalty area and the referee was given no choice. The Italian dispatched the penalty without blinking, and City continued to march on.

Arsenal 1-2 Manchester United

“Anything you can do, we can do... similarly” was the (probably reluctant) cry of the United fans yesterday as they cruised to victory in a numbingly sedate game at the Emirates. This match will have drawn yawns from around the country as Arsenal showed they had extremely little to offer against an efficient United.

A turgid first half was only livened up in the final minute when Ryan Giggs’ curly cross was met by the enormous leap of Spanish Football Club Antonio Valencia. This will have given Arsene Wenger an excuse to release all of his pent up rage upon the team talk, and indeed Arsenal did look fired up in the second half.

They began to create chances but were suffering from ‘Diop-finishing’ syndrome, blasting the ball all over the place and nowhere near the goal. However, the quality of Robin van Persie shone through for the bazillionth time this season, as he found the degree-specific angle to slide the ball past Lindegaard in the 71^st minute.

Despite Wenger’s success in riling the team up, the Frenchman (who still looks like a man going through a perpetual bout of flu) decided to ruin everything by making a couple of laughable substitutions. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who had looked impressive, was brought off and replaced by the calamitous Andrey Arshavin, who did nothing. Still, Arsenal had the momentum so it would be fine, right? It wasn’t enough. Ten minutes later, United mesmerised the Arsenal defence with a beautiful game of penalty-box pinball. A great move allowed Danny Welbeck to thud home the winner.

United had to win this game following City’s victory over Tottenham. They’ve shown a great deal of strength in emerging victorious at The Emirates. Both sides continue to impress, and if one thing is certain, then it is that the winner of this season’s Premier League will have deserved it immensely.

Bolton Wanderers 3-1 Liverpool

Kenny Dalglish looks to be losing his Kingly magic. We have seen a great deal of shortcomings in the Liverpool team, and only one conclusion can be drawn – they have spent their money atrociously. With their struggles to get a result at home and now this crushing defeat against a lowly Bolton side, one has to wonder whether or not it’s time for his majesty to abdicate.

You have to give Bolton credit for securing the victory, but let’s make no mistake – Liverpool were poor. Mark Davies seemed to have a nasty infectious disease on his boots as the Liverpool defence kindly ran away from him as he bore down on goal. It was a simple finish to give Bolton the lead.

Nigel Reo-Coker showed what inimitable a truly wonderful class he has with a well taken second goal, before becoming furious over Craig Bellamy’s existence. The stumpy Welshman was the man to give Liverpool hope when he wrapped onto Carroll’s pass and struck home to make it 2-1 before half-time. Bolton were not to let it slip though, as Gretar Steinsson thumped home a volley to seal an excellent victory for The Trotters.

Bolton required hope. It was an entity they seemed totally devoid of up until now, but this victory could finally spark the revival everybody has been expecting.

Everton 1-1 Blackburn Rovers

Everton have spent this whole season on the periphery of everyone’s attention. I don’t think anyone’s even aware of their existence once Match of the Day is over, such is their ability to find that mid-table obscurity. Blackburn, however, are big characters in the relegation fight and will be delighted to continue grinding out results that could prove crucial in their struggle.

Blackburn were more than worth their point as they battered the Everton woodwork and generally appeared to be more spirited during the game. Despite this, The Toffees carved out a lucky lead when Fellaini got his arms all over the ball before Tim Cahill scored from close-range. It was his first goal for over a year, and his first non-headed goal since ever.

Blackburn persevered, embodying this newfound iron-grit that has infused the whole squad. After David Dunn smacked the post again (with the ball, I should add), Morten Gamst Pedersen attempted one of his irritatingly-good free-kicks. Howard parried it and as Cahill attempted to clear the ball away from goal, the ball hit David Goodwillie and bounced into the back of the net. David Goodwillie has three goals for Blackburn now, and I don’t think he’s done anything towards them except stand in the right place.

The game ended as a draw, which Blackburn will be both happier with, and slightly aggrieved by.

Fulham 5-2 Newcastle United

Right. I haven’t seen the highlights of this one, so I’m going to summarise without the usual match report-type bit. Fulham had been dipping their toes in the relegation mess a little bit up until this victory. However, the squad looks decent and Martin Jol has a proven track record when it comes to Premier League management. It never looked like Fulham had the ingredients for relegation, but this comprehensive victory over high-flying Newcastle will have done a lot to make that fact feel more secure.

The Cottagers owe a lot to Clint Dempsey. The yank has been tremendous in his five years at the club and it always feels like he is still improving. A hat-trick in this game pays tribute to his goalscoring prowess, but as we know Dempsey has so much more to his game than that. One wonders if Clint Dempsey is one of the most underrated players in the league.

Newcastle are under the scrutiny of having to cope without the brilliant Demba Ba, and it looks like they’re struggling. However, it clearly wasn’t for goals, as they scored two away from home (which most sides would be happy with). I’m guessing there were defensive issues for United, and that won’t bode well for this second half of the season if they are still harbouring European ambitions.

Norwich City 0-0 Chelsea

There’s little to say about this game. Norwich were predictably pegged back by Chelsea, but Fernando Torres’ extraordinary misfortune in front of goal saved the day once more. The troubled feminine Spaniard forced some spectacular saves from John Ruddy as well as missing other excellent opportunities.

It’s really quite amazing how Torres just cannot score at the moment. It’s got to the point where, by definition, he has to possess a quantum anti-luck in order for this barren run to make any sense in a universe without the paranormal. Still, at least his efforts were better than Malouda’s big opportunity, which I believe is still rising and should pass the Moon on Wednesday.

Norwich take another impressive point, Chelsea disappointingly drop another couple. Form does not change in this one.

QPR 3-1 Wigan Athletic

Tufty-haired Mark Hughes enjoyed his first victory with QPR as they secured a vital three points against their relegation rivals. Surprisingly, this was only Rangers’ second win at Loftus Road this year, and that sort of form is exactly what Hughes will be looking to change. They say ‘start as you mean to go on’, so signs are good.

A pretty blatant handball gave QPR an early advantage when they received a penalty for a moment of blind stupidity. Helguson just managed to squeeze it past Ali Al-Habsi, but the Omani goalkeeper was to get his own back later. He could do nothing about Akos Buzsaky’s spectacular free-kick ten minutes later though, which was directed beautifully into the top corner of the Wigan Athletic goal.

Hugo Rodallega looked at Buzsaky’s goal and thought to himself “That looks good, I might have a go at that”. Sure enough, Rodallega took his free-kick just as well as Buzsaky had, and another spectacular goal allowed Wigan a sniff of recovery. It looked like that would be negated when Heidar Helguson won another penalty after being brought down by Sammon. However, that redemption for Al-Habsi I alluded to earlier was completed here when he clawed away the Ice-man’s penalty terrifically.

For a man with a pretty bland name, Tommy Smith showed he was capable of the odd extravagance. From 25-yards out, the former Portsmouth and Watford striker crashed in a drive that stunned Wigan and put the game to bed. QPR hauled themselves out of the relegation zone, but Wigan are beginning to get cut off at the bottom. Though they always seem to find a way out of the dirge, it looks like Wigan will require a truly great escape this time around.

Stoke City 1-2 West Bromwich Albion

I don’t like Thomas Sorensen. I don’t have anything against him personally, but in my view he’s blocking the extremely talented Portsmouth-graduate Asmir Begovic from making himself into the greatest goalkeeper ever in the world. However, it’s only fair to say that the Dane was a tad unlucky when he allowed Morrison’s whistling shot to slip past him during Saturday’s game between Stoke and West Brom. The effort curled very late on and Sorensen happened to commit himself just a little too early. It was an unfortunate way for The Potters to go behind.

Stoke nearly got their own slice of luck when they were awarded a very soft penalty following Gareth McAuley’s challenge. However, Jon Walters’ effort was collected by Ben Foster, and the opportunity went to waste. Not to be deterred, Stoke did eventually get their equaliser very late on after Pennant’s free-kick (also a soft decision) found the head of Cameron Jerome, who poked it home. It looked like they had rescued a point.

Did I have you there? Did you think for a second that Stoke had drawn? No? Well, how did you kn... oh, I put it as the headline on this section. Oh, and you watch Match of the Day. Well, that’s one way of getting a football round-up, but... not the best way. Anyway, Dorrans’ angled free-kick broke Stoke hearts when it nestled into the bottom corner after missing everyone. Another important win for a relegation-threatened team. A surprise for Stoke.

Sunderland 2-0 Swansea

Two excellent goals allowed Sunderland’s fantastic run under Martin O’Neill to stretch further. Despite being the best passers in the league and having Britain’s answers to Xavi and Iniesta, Swansea offered little in the way of attack which may have disappointed frustrated bespectacled statisticians.

Stephane Sessegnon, who is without doubt my favourite player in the world at the moment, pulled off a brilliant one-two with James McLean before managing an absolutely sublime finish to put Sunderland ahead 15 minutes in. It was a fantastic goal, but would later be bettered. In the meantime though, Swansea had a good deal of possession without showing enough initiative up front to make the vital difference in the scoreline.

Then came the better goal, just five minutes before the end of the game. Stephane Sessegnon knocked the ball to Craig Gardner who took one touch before firing in a beautiful dipping half-volley that gave Michel Vorm no hope. The midfield maestro looked to his adoring fans with a casual smile as they applauded another tremendous goal, and another impressive victory.

Wolverhampton Wanderers 2-3 Aston Villa

Crumbs! I haven’t seen this one either. I know, it’s a shoddy football round-up when there’s a couple of games that I didn’t even get round to watching the highlights of (not to mention the many football league games I always ignore), but I didn’t want to wait any longer on this and I wanted to make sure I keep posting these. Anyway, I’ll stop going on about myself and start talking about the football that I didn’t see.

Robbie Keane has re-integrated himself into the Premier League with a couple of goals. Despite his MLS status, the least you can expect from someone like Robbie Keane is an eye for goal when he is offered the opportunity, and Alex McLeish seems to have devised a plan to keep a number of very reliable strikers at the club. Darren Bent, of course, comes with goals written into his contract. He scored a penalty to put his Premier League tally up to 99 (You may remember me saying he had 99 last week but... I didn’t).

Aston Villa move up to 11^th and appear to be heading towards a similar mid-table obscurity to that of Everton. Meanwhile, Wolves just can’t grind results out when it matters. If points were awarded for playing good football and looking generally impressive, Wolves would never be anywhere near the drop zone. However, they have a troublesome tendency to drop points too easily. It needs to change.

Goal of the Weekend: Craig Gardner’s volley that dipped like a rollercoaster and was just as much of a thrill.

Team of the Weekend: I’d be tempted to say Fulham despite having not seen them. Instead I’ll plum for QPR

The ‘Huh, that’s Different’ Award: I’m going to venture into the scary world of the football league and give a mention to the hilarious incident in which Bury players Coke and Schumacher nearly came to blows over who should take a penalty.

Snap, Tackle, Stop

I love a crunching tackle. There’s something inherently satisfying upon the moment a player throws himself to the ground, reaches the ball and legally tumbles his opponent. It’s a moment of pure athleticism, competition and sport. A love-letter to the beauty of defending.

And yet we continue to discuss the viability of the ‘tackle’ in modern football. Following Vincent Kompany’s red card in the Manchester Derby a couple of weeks ago, commentators and pundits have been on high alert. Currently, whenever the usually delightful thud of a strong tackle is heard, they go off like car alarms shouting about how it should be a sending off. Even in cases when players win the ball, pundits will point to how dangerous the tackle ‘could have been’ with regards to different situations.

Make no mistake, there is such a thing as ‘serious foul play’. However, the scope for which this applies has seemingly widened thanks to just one poor refereeing decision. Kompany’s tackle, albeit two-footed, was not dangerous and should not have been a red card. However, the referee got it wrong, and we can forgive him that. What is worrying is the way people seem to believe that this one incident has changed the very constitution of football.

Everything is being compared to this one tackle, as if Chris Foy that day wrote a new law straight into the annals of football defining what ‘serious foul play’ is. It’s bizarre, flawed logic that has been picked up for reasons I don’t understand. Take for instance Frank Lampard’s disallowed goal at the World Cup in 2010. Are we to say that following on from that incident, any shot that lands just a few feet over the line is not a goal? Of course not. It’d be ridiculous for a commentator to say “Well, if Lampard’s shot wasn’t a goal, then how can that be?”

One of the good things about football referees is that their job is to interpret the law, not make it. It means that referees are not obliged to follow the lead of their peers constantly, and FIFA and the FA aren’t bang to rights on any decision refs might make. If you were to follow a system in which referees had to constantly revise their rule book as one official after another makes a slightly outlandish decision, the game just wouldn’t work, and Stuart Attwell would just become the most hated man in the world.

So it makes no sense to compare any tackle to Vincent Kompany’s. But what of tackling? Has it lost its place in the game? I’d like to think not. After all, the spate of ‘dangerous’ tackles in recent weeks haven’t really been a result of anything more than the odd moment of stupidity. Certainly Yakubu’s reckless challenge was worthy of a red, but I don’t think you can outlaw tackling on the basis of what Yakubu is capable of. Otherwise running would be banned too.

The fact is that in the past five or six seasons we’ve only seen a handful of serious injuries in the Premier League, most notably to Eduardo and Aaron Ramsey (and the latter was a result of bad fortune more than a bad tackle). Both of those incidents led to a long-winded media storm where everyone pondered the possibility of tackling being too dangerous for the sport. These eventually died down, but the little spates of worry we have about tackling seem to be getting much more common. It’s a worrying trend, and I don’t think it will be long before it gets discussed by FIFA.

It may be an extreme-case scenario that tackling might be banned, but any form of law change is certainly possible in times like these. There’s nothing preventing FIFA redefining the term ‘dangerous tackle’ to include a larger variety of incidents, thereby limiting the harm to players. I don’t believe that’s necessary. As long as we vilify any intentionally awful tackles, condemn any clumsy and dangerous ones and are realistic about plain strong tackling the amount of serious injuries will remain minimal.

Knocks are part of the game we love, and I think it’s only right that you have to be made of strong stuff to play football. It would be an absolute tragedy if the most physical and athletic aspect of defending was curbed by a media witchhunt. We’ve moved on from the tackles of yesteryear, where you would be lambasted for lacking commitment when not going in two-footed. For the better, that is in the past. But I don’t think we can, or should, go any further in our attempts to soften tackles in football.

Football Round-Up: Scholes Galore

You should know the situation by now. We have what seems to be a three-horse title race between wily-old warheads Manchester United, pesky flash rich-boys Manchester City and the unlikely chancers Tottenham Hotspur. Beneath that we have various struggles for Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool whilst certain other teams continue to punch above their weight; teams like Norwich and Newcastle. At the other end of things, there’s a relegation battle occurring between crisis-club Blackburn, the terribly flat Bolton Wanderers, Wigan, Wolves, QPR, amongst others. Basically, lots of football stuff is happening.

That’s everything up to speed. Now let’s look the action from this weekend.

Manchester United 3-0 Bolton Wanderers

This might well be the least interesting or surprising scoreline in football history, but besides the predictability of United’s comfortable win lays an unusual aspect; that is, United were faced with the possibility of three defeats on the trot. The importance of this victory will not be lost on Scottish profanity-expert Ferguson, who hasn’t quite declared ‘Squeaky Bum Time’ yet, but is almost certainly seeing it in the periphery of his vision.

The result was seldom in doubt. United were all over Bolton’s defence, camping out in their penalty area like protesters in Parliament Square. Lanky striker Danny Welbeck forced a number of saves from ginger Hungarian rarity Adam Bogdan, and Rooney had a header stopped on the line. Welbeck was then clumsily pushed over in the area and a penalty was awarded. However Bogdan, still cowering in terror over his nightmare of Tim Howard repeatedly taking goal-kicks and laughing, made a brilliant stop from Wayne Rooney’s effort.

It was in vain though, as rickety pensioner Paul Scholes was able to sweep Rooney’s pass beyond the goalkeeper to make it 1-0 to United just before half-time. After the break, Bolton responded by moving the ball forward nicely. Unfortunately, Owen Coyle lost a bar-room bet the night before and was forced to play David N’Gog as a result, and the Frenchman used this opportunity to spurn out one of the worst shots ever seen on a football field.

Rooney’s strength enabled him to push through a pass for Welbeck, who used all his leg to stretch and flick it past Bogdan for 2-0. It was all over at that point, but to seal the victory and add a welcome coat of gloss to the scoreline, Michael Carrick fired in from 25-yards despite having as much eye for goal as a blind man with a phobia of netting.

United were suffering severe turbulence up until this victory. Whether or not it will steady the ship in the long-term will be seen over the coming weeks. As for Bolton, well... things are getting grim.

Wigan Athletic 0-1 Manchester City

I must confess that I haven’t actually seen any of this game, which makes it rather difficult to talk about given that this round-up usually requires some form of detail. I’ll try though.

Apparently Edin Dzeko scored, and they said it was a header.

Then the Wigan ‘keeper Ali Al-Habsi had to make some saves. Also Wigan had a couple of chances.

So hopefully you got a good idea of the game through that. These scrappier victories can form the basis of a title win, and I think that despite any struggles City might have had tonight, they will be mightily encouraged that they still won the game. It’s a bit clichéd, but real champions can play badly and win. I’m not sure if City did play badly, but I think we all know that on their best day, they could knock Wigan into another dimension.

Tottenham 1-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers

The build-up to this game was oddly intense for Tottenham. It seemed like the papers had only that morning realised Spurs were sitting in third place, and consequently made a concerted effort to tout their title prospects as hard as humanly possible. Despite the age etched onto his abnormal jowls, this was a new experience for Harry Redknapp and the team’s reaction to the sudden onslaught of pressure was always going to be telling.

While the headline for this result was always going to be about a stuttering Tottenham, it shouldn’t detract from a very impressive Wolves performance. They took the lead in the first-half after Roger Johnson forced a save from Brad Friedel that fell to the grateful feet of Steven Fletcher, who jauntily poked home to give the away side the lead.

Togolese phone-addict Emmanuel Adebayor, who seems to be mandatorily limited to a single chance per game, then had a goal disallowed for offside. It appeared that Kevin Foley was maybe playing him onside, but that’s extraneous detail considering that if the cameras weren’t sure then we can’t have a say more reliable than the linesman’s. This did not dishevel Wolves though, who carried on attacking as their new signing Emmanuel Frimpong, who’s surname sounds like a doorbell, forced another strong save from the hands of Brad Friedel.

Tottenham’s quality did shine through in the end, as Luka Modric thumped a strike that slipped past Wayne Hennessey and gave Spurs an important equaliser. They then pressed on for the win, but it was to no avail. A-point-a-piece was a fair summation of the way the match had played out. This was definitely not Tottenham at their best, and it may have illustrated their lack of readiness for the strains upon solidity a title race yields. Though you’d be brave to write the North London club out of the running at this point, there are indications that they might not be quite up to it.

As for Wolves, it seems like we get this all the time. A spirited display, Mick McCarthy moans a bit and they’re still gelled to the outskirts of the relegation battle. With performances like this they shouldn’t go down, but victories are the essence of survival in this league.

Blackburn Rovers 3-1 Fulham

There is a remarkable resurgence going on at Blackburn. Karl Pilkington lookalike Steve Kean appears to have absorbed strength from the taunts and jibes that lined his way to work over the past few weeks, and is now unleashing his rage in the form of unlikely results. The team, once devoid of enthusiasm and lacklustre in every stride, is now screaming confidence and showing willingness to battle.

At first, it looked like it might all go wrong for Rovers. Bobby Zamora’s looping header smacked into the post, and then Yakubu, a man stuck in a perpetual jog, was sent-off for a poor challenge on Danny Murphy. There’s been a lot said about tackling, and I will come back to this on another day, but whilst Yakubu’s challenge wasn’t a typical moment of ‘Serious Foul Play’, it was a knee-shattering tackle and deserved a sending-off.

All it was going to take was a Fulham goal and all the Blackburn fans would return to their second-most common state of existence (after breathing): misery. Swiss defender Phillippe Senderos thought he may have done the trick when he powered a header towards goal, but he was denied by a tremendous save from Paul Robinson. Martin Jol, who these days looks like a withered cartoon ogre, looked on in frustration.

Against the run of play, Blackburn managed to shock the Londoners just before half-time. Morten Gamst Pedersen directed his free-kick right into the bottom corner of David Stockdale’s goal, an effort which the ‘keeper perhaps should have saved. This invigorated Blackburn who soon doubled their lead after the break, with Goodwillie’s blocked shot falling to Dunn who spiked home a second.

Fulham threatened to spoil the party when former Blackburnian winger Damien Duff cut in a goal from a tight angle, giving the Blackburn fans chills down their collective spine. They had nothing to fear though, as Steven N’Zonzi expertly found Mauro Formica, who coolly finished making the lead an unassailable 3-1.

It’s a depressing result for Fulham, given the nature of Blackburn’s current plight and the fact that they were down to ten men. Still, you have to give Rovers credit, they’ve conjured up a victory out of a situation that looked hopeless, and as long as they keep doing this, the more chance they have of surviving. Steve Kean is leading one of the most astonishing comebacks from any manager in football, and it’s become one of the season’s stories to watch.

Swansea City 3-2 Arsenal

The script was written for Thierry Henry. I’m sure that’s what we all would’ve been saying if he’d had any impact whatsoever, but instead the Frenchman decided he wasn’t up for the role of saviour as Arsenal crashed at the Liberty Stadium.

Even Robin van Persie’s obligatory act of dragging Arsenal out of the mud wasn’t enough on Sunday. The Dutchman began the match with his usual class, tagging onto the end of Arshavin’s ball and slamming home from a difficult angle to put Arsenal into an early lead. Despite this, Arsenal’s defence was looking stretched and wayward. It was like watching four men panic with a rolling bomb. Swansea regained possession and Nathan Dyer was fouled in the resulting attack, garnering the Welsh side a penalty. Scott Sinclair duly converted it.

Both sides had further chances in the first-half. Ramsey took the ball past the ‘keeper and nearly squeezed his shot into the goal, but it clanged off the post. Up the other end, Nathan Dyer was causing problems and testing Sczcesney. Luckily for Swansea, Arsenal displayed some more useless defending in the second-half, relinquishing possession and allowing Allen to find Dyer who smashed in a nice goal with a hint of curliness on it.

All this gave the chance for Theo Walcott to rectify some recent hesitant moments. There’s been a few occasions where the pacy winger has been one-on-one with the goalkeeper and fluffed the opportunity, but not this time. An expert finish from the accidental World-Cup star made it 2-2 for Arsenal. Crisis averted? Stage set for an Henry winner? Not a chance.

Within seconds Swansea were up the other end. A stupefied Wojiech Szczesney gasped in surprise. “Huh?” he expressed. Danny Graham, showing little remorse, brushed home a winner before the Gunners were even aware of it. A late opportunity for Mertesacker was skewed horribly wide, and Swansea had captured a glorious, famous win.

The Swans have been playing tremendous football lately and definitely warranted that prestigious victory. It’s great to see that an attacking side coming straight up from the Championship can look genuinely capable of coping with their full-on style throughout the season (as opposed to the likes of Hull and Blackpool, who always seemed to be on the edge of chaos). Meanwhile, Arsenal’s recent run of excellent results seems to have ended and Wenger will be looking to redouble the efforts of reaching that all-important top-four finish.

Chelsea 1-0 Sunderland

Sunderland can be a bit of a bogey team for Chelsea, so this game always had the potential of being a difficult contest for The Blues. Sunderland certainly won’t feel that they were a disappointment, as they began with Stephane “The Power” Sessegnon bullying his way forward and trying his best to initiate forward movement. The omnipotent Beninese midfielder couldn’t force the issue enough though, as Chelsea went up the other end and Fernando Torres tried a spectacular overhead kick that crashed off the bar. A dumbstruck Frank Lampard provided an unintentional follow-up, and Chelsea were suddenly 1-0 up.

Both sides had chances. Danish loaf Nicklas Bendtner squashed an effort wide of the post and James McLean fluffed an excellent opportunity to equalise. Meanwhile Fernando Torres was doing his usual trick of flumping shots all over the place, hitting everything except the back of the net as he desperately looked for a way to end his 14-hour barren spell.

Ramires also pushed forward through midfield, and had a solid effort on goal from distance producing a good save from Mignolet. He apologised to Torres for not choosing to pass, before sharing knowing glances with the rest of his teammates. Gardner and Bendtner both missed more chances before the referee blew the final whistle. Chelsea took a tight but necessary victory as Sunderland left the Bridge without having been disgraced.

West Bromwich Albion 1-2 Norwich City

It was all going so well. Comfortable, consistent... just how it’d been planned. But some surprises can’t be accounted for. Sometimes things just go wrong. When the autocue broke down, Lineker faced the camera with a piercing stare of terror, reaching out to the viewers in search of a solace that would never come. He was suddenly alone on his words, and a vulnerability was spoken down the lens. I’m not ashamed to say I got a bit teary-eyed when I saw it.

Anyway, Norwich continued to be the most impressive of the promoted teams with another well-earned away victory. After both sides had chances, Hoolahan crossed into the box to find Andrew Surman, who clumped in a volley. It made a beautiful sound, and the loveliness of that was reflected in the scoreline; 1-0.

It wasn’t all plain-sailing for the Canaries, as slightly-disappointing-given-his-namesake defender Daniel Ayala committed a rash foul to give West Brom a penalty. Shane Long confidently dispatched it, and gave the Baggies a fatal confidence. Charging forward for the victory, Mulumbu had his shot stolen off him at the vital moment, and an incisive breakaway from Norwich culminated in Grant Holt lofting in a cross for Morison to slam a header home. Norwich picked up their 7^th win of the season, re-emphasising their ambition for mid-table obscurity. For West Brom, the struggle gets heavier...

Newcastle 1-0 QPR

With Demba Ba on the form of his life, it was going to be a strain on Newcastle to replace him as the selfish Senegalese striker decided he wanted to play in the Africa Cup of Nations. How dare he?

The way QPR began the game was extremely feisty. They fought tooth, nail, hair and any other disposable part of the body for the ball and were not afraid of giving the goalkeeper a few frights. Buszaky stung the fingertips of Tim Krul whilst dinky winger Shaun Wright-Phillips’s effort skimmed a lick of paint off the bar.

Newcastle pushed on, and Leon Best (who is largely being touted as Demba Ba’s replacement) showed a touch of quality as he danced around a defender and slotted the ball into the back of the net with supreme style.

Jay Bothroyd became QPR’s scattergun as he decided he was just going to keep shooting until the statistics looked ridiculous. It didn’t work, but QPR were still pressing up-front. It actually made Paddy Kenny so bored, he decided to inject a bit of excitement into his game by rushing out to prevent a corner, rounding an oncoming midfielder and then putting it out for a throw-in. He then enjoyed the adrenaline-rush of the sprint back to goal as Spider-Geordie Jonas Gutierrez tried to curl the ball in past the stranded ‘keeper. The defence were there to clear up for the Irish Lemsip-addict.

Newcastle held firm and took the victory. The Hughes-effect hasn’t quite settled for Rangers, but there were promising signs in there. Namely, their renewed passion.

Aston Villa 1-1 Everton

A bog-standard mid-table clash if ever there was one. Neither side were itchingly desperate for the victory in this game, so a draw was probably the necessary result on this occasion. Most of the early action involved Shay Given, as he had to make a terrific save from Saha’s header, followed by another save from Stephen Warnock’s stupidity. His run of stops made him so confident, that he decided he wasn’t even going to use hands when he later saved Fellaini’s effort.

Darren Bent then scored his 99^th Premier League goal after Marc Albrighton stuck a super cross into the box and, after a bit of back-and-forth between him and Stephen Ireland, Bent slipped in the finish for 1-0.

Despite this, seasonal Yank Landon Donovan was able to help level things up when his clever ball found on-form and also seasonal striker Victor Anichebe who summoned up all his composure for a sweet finish. It was two even teams in an even game with an even result. Nothing odd about that.

Liverpool 0-0 Stoke City

Oh wow, finding something to say about this one. I mean, it was easier with the City game and I haven’t even seen that one. Liverpool do seem to be drawing a crazy amount of home matches, and I don’t think the claim that teams come to Anfield and defend for their lives can be used to excuse all of these ties. Liverpool have to be strong enough to score goals at home, and if they can’t do it then one wonders if King Kenny still has the magic anymore.

Liverpool did have chances, albeit sparse ones. Kuyt and Skrtel both missed headers and Stewart Downing put an effort over the bar. Other than that though, Liverpool had little and should have offered so much more going forward.

It’s the sort of result Stoke are good at getting, though, and they will be happy with another point towards survival for their fourth consecutive season.

And that wraps everything up. Come back next week for another one. Also I’m a bit tired and not well today, so that probably wasn’t my best one. So, like, if you hated this give it another go. And if you liked it, thanks and that.

Goal of the Weekend:  Leon Best’s twirly jive and sumptuous finish.

Performance of the Weekend: Blackburn, for defying their subdued manpower and emerging victorious.

The ‘Huh, that’s Different’ Award: Paddy Kenny, for deciding he’d had enough of sitting about and rushing out of goal unexpectedly.