Monday Comment - Are Mourinho's Media Tactics Wearing Thin?

Mourinho's post-match interview guarantees headlines.

It's not unusual to see teams completely out of place in the league standings after just five games, but that fails to soften the shocking start that Chelsea have had, leaving them teetering on the dotted line of relegation. Three defeats out of five games,  star players turning completely anonymous, and antics from Mourinho that are increasingly becoming a pure circus-act, have brought the pre-season favourites to their knees.

One wonders just how much of an impact the Eva Carneiro fiasco had on the Chelsea players and staff. While Mourinho refuses to back down on his comments following the 2-2 draw with Swansea, it has inarguably caused more of a distraction than a deflection. This sort of attempt to detract attention from the poor performances of players is nothing new, but the cruel impact it has had on someone's professional life may have turned figures within the club against Mourinho's brash media tactics, as whispers are suggesting.

Mourinho's treatment of the club doctor was a step too far for many.

Besides, Mourinho's famed wheel of excuses is now falling extremely short of blocking the attention of the punditry from his slack squad. Eden Hazard, Cesc Fabregas and Branislav Ivanovic have all come in for their rightful share of heavy criticism after littering Chelsea's opening games with poor performances. It's almost as if the usual method of trying to deflect media scrutiny from his team is making analysts more determined to pick out the growing problems with Chelsea's football, ignoring the redundant excuses that inevitably tumble down the pipeline after the final whistle (very little has been made of Mourinho's ludicrous claim that part of the team's defeat to Everton was down to the computers breaking the day before).

We're left with an interesting situation at Chelsea now. Mourinho must band together a team short on form and morale, a task that has seldom cropped up for 'The Special One' in his years of relentless success. Despite the problems, it seems unlikely that he will face pressure against his job unless this patch of form continues into the winter, but Mourinho is driven towards league titles and will be desperate to get the club's title campaign back on track.

Martial's lore

Martial's goal was very Thierry Henry, but he won't want to end up going all Bebe.

Another great Old Trafford tale may have begun on Saturday, when Anthony Martial shifted the ball past a trio of dumbstruck Liverpool defenders before slotting home in front of an ecstatic Stretford End. Martial's move to Manchester United comes with an enormous amount of pressure - arguably more than any teenager footballer has had to deal with before. However, if his goal against United's fiercest rivals is anything to go by, the rising French star will hardly break a sweat.

United haven't always had much luck bringing in young strikers. Names such as Federico Macheda, Bebe and David Bellion represent unmet promises in the team's past. Anthony Martial still has a long way to go before he can permanently escape that list, but time is on the 19 year-old's side. Martial will continue to develop over the next few years, and such a high transfer price means that he should find himself given plenty of opportunities, lest the board are made to look like money-tossing fools.

The battle for fifth - Leicester versus Palace?

Riyad Mahrez has been one of the early stars of the season.

Two teams that have truly been impressive in the first five fixtures are Leicester City and Crystal Palace. Leicester finished last season on a high, yet remarkably Claudio Ranieri has worked out how to shift the team into an even higher gear. Fast attacking play has made the Foxes the joint-highest scorers in the league alongside Manchester City with 11 goals, and with a seemingly insatiable strikeforce, it seems that Leicester will continue to thrill and entertain throughout the season.

Where Leicester have arguably benefitted from a winnable run of fixtures, Palace have endured the opposite, taking on Arsenal, Chelsea and Man City in the first five games. Despite this, Alan Pardew's side have looked impressive in every match they have played, and sit in fifth with 9 points. Even in their defeats to Arsenal and Man City, they have performed extremely well and were unlucky not to snatch a result. Palace were touted as potential dark horses pre-season, but it seems more as if they are a legitimately excellent side that ought to expect a top-half finish at the very least.

Yohan Cabaye may be the buy of the summer.

Can either of these teams push for Europe? It feels as if there could be a surprise this season, and currently these two sides look the most likely to pull it off (Swansea would also be a contender here, despite their defeat to Watford). Considering the run of fixtures both sides have had, I would argue that Palace are more likely to finish in the top 6 than Leicester. It certainly wouldn't be beyond Alan Pardew - let's not forget how close he came to driving Newcastle into a Champions League spot in 2012.

Ighalo goal gets Golden Boys going

Ighalo's second goal of the season sealed Watford's first win.

You may or may not remember how I argued for Watford's survival a few weeks back. I'm not saying I was definitely right all along, but I feel that Watford's victory is a good reminder of their ability to succeed for those who had mentally put the nails in the coffin.

Admittedly, the stats didn't look good - no goals in 3 games, no wins, etc. But Watford have played well in all of their fixtures, and have scored points against strong teams. It did seem as if people had already written off the promotion side who hadn't yet thrilled, but I think there's more to come from Watford, and the Vicarage Road fire is only really simmering.

Nevertheless, it was crucial they scored a confidence-boosting victory against Swansea, as a winless start can have a damaging, numbing effect on a season.

Football Round-Up: Henry makes for good Kompany

F.A. Cup Round-Up

Ooh, the FA Cup, eh? It evokes such blissful nostalgia. You’d stick a tuppence through the turnstile, buy your Bovril and pie and make your way to the terraces. There was old Bobby Rutherford and Peter Castle playing up-front, the pitch would be as muddy as hell and the tackles would be flying in from Norman “Cruncher” Harris. At the end of the game you’d go home and play Subbuteo whilst reading Roy of the Rovers and watching Match of the Day on an old black and white telly. That’s what the FA Cup was all about.

I know where you think this is going, but I’m electing to skip the awkward and dull ‘Has the cup lost its magic’ debate in favour of celebrating a pretty exciting weekend of knockout action. We had a few upsets, a couple of barnstorming games and some juicy controversy. This round-up begins, rather predictably, in Manchester.

Manchester City 2-3 Manchester United

Despite the ample number of goals, the scoreline in this game doesn’t fairly reflect the drama and intrigue the latest Manchester Derby provided us. In what was no doubt one of the defining games of the season for these two clubs, City will likely feel somewhat aggrieved to have been on the bitter, losing end of this very open, exciting tie.

It started off looking comfortable for City, who seldom surrendered possession in the first ten minutes of the game. Though their chances were meek, they seemed to have the element of control in the early part of the match, refusing to give the ball back like an angry child who'd just been told he wasn't allowed to play with the other kids. However, that changed almost in an instant as United finally got their foot on the ball, instigated a single counter attack and scored. Rooney blasted into the box with a powerful header that second-choice man mountain goalkeeper Costel Pantilimon could do nothing about.

It was a setback for Manchester City, but by no means a disaster – no, that would have to wait two minutes before Vincent Kompany was sent-off for a two-footed but very placid tackle on Nani. The decision has been hotly argued over and thousands have died in the ensuing clashes. Whilst you can see why the referee has chosen to issue a red card, you have to ask whether common sense should have prevailed in this case. After all, sending off the home captain during a big derby match just 12 minutes into the game should be the very last resort for a referee, and leeway ought to be given accordingly.

This did nothing to help City, who seemed to quieten down whilst United grew into the game with more and more confidence. On the half-hour mark, Danny Welbeck did extremely well to perform a full-body joint reshuffle and hook in a half-volley, making it 2-0. Just before the break, Aleksandar Kolarov brought down Welbeck in the box and Rooney reacted first when Pantilimon saved his initial penalty, heading home for an ominous 3-0 lead at half-time. 

City were never likely to collapse far enough to give United the satisfaction of six goals, but their comeback was a big surprise and a positive sign of their resilience. Having presumably been shouted at by an Italian for 15 minutes, the home side came onto the field with a renewed belief, and early on in the second half Kolarov completed a personal redemption by expertly whipping a free-kick past Anders Lindegaard. City were suddenly looking like the more rampant team, despite their shortage in manpower.

That morning, it had been announced that squinty ginger pass-machine Paul Scholes was to haul his rear end out of his armchair and back into the unforgiving world of top-flight football. He re-introduced himself to the foray during the second half to thunderous applause, but his dream return was rather scuppered when he gave the ball away to James Milner. Milner found Aguero in the box, and after bashing Lindegaard with the ball for a bit the Argentine stuck it in the back of the net to make it 3-2.

City threw pressure onto the faces of United, but it was in vain. Despite a late penalty appeal when Phil Jones, who'd had an off-beat day, handled the ball, City just could not get that equaliser. It will have been encouraging for City fans to have seen such a spirited display, but that doesn’t soften the blow of losing to their despised rivals much. Both teams had lost out on their major European ambitions, but for City now it really is just a case of whether they win the league or not that will classify this season as either a triumph or a disaster (I know they’re in the Carling Cup as well, but I don’t think that’s what players with the reputations of Aguero and Silva came here to win).

Jumping Jillikers! That was a long one. Let’s do some other, smaller ones now.

Swindon Town 2-1 Wigan Athletic

League Two Swindon probably achieved the biggest upset of the round by beating an unglamorous but fairly strengthy Wigan outfit on Saturday. Following a decent early start by The Robins, they were unlucky to concede a penalty when Callum McManaman (who wins the award for having the name that is most fun to type) was taken down in the box. Ben Watson struck the post, but McManaman was on hand to force the goal. I quite like it when an away team does that actually, because you get that lovely collective groan following the excited cheer.

Swindon might have lost their bottle, but for the exploits of Portsmouth-born midfielder Matt Ritchie. His flair and class changed the game in the underdogs’ favour, with his thumping cross finding the head of Alan Connell, who glanced home to equalise just before half-time. Later on, Ritchie’s distance drive was expertly bounced off the legs of Paul Benson, wrong-footing Ali Al-Habsi and sending the ball in the back of the net.

For Wigan, another struggle in the murky pits of the Premier League may take aid from this early cup exit, but that will take nothing away from the Swindon celebrations. After the game, tattooed Italian madman and Swindon manager Paolo Di Canio was delighted with his first major day in the limelight as a coach, and dedicated the victory to his father.

Macclesfield Town 2-2 Bolton Wanderers

Macclesfield came close to sidling their way into the spotlight when they gave Bolton a fright and forced a replay from Owen Coyle’s off-form side. Having gone behind after Klasnic bundled the ball home early on, Adam Bogdan, who's face was still a deep shade of red following Tim Howard's lovely strike over him, was kept on his guard by a rampant display from the home team. It didn’t take long for the Hungarian to be beaten though, as a speedy and effective breakaway was completed by Colin Daniel.

In the second half, Arnaud Mendy scored an absolutely brilliant goal to put Macclesfield ahead. He took two touches, one to flick the ball up in the air and one to crash in a volley, and found the top corner of the net with tantalising conviction. However, this moment of magic did not bring the victory that it deserved, with David Wheater using the natural bulkiness of his 6 foot 5 framework to charge a header into the back of the net for Bolton. Macclesfield held on through a spell of pressure towards the end and earned themselves a replay. They enjoyed a cup day to remember, but it’s unlikely The Silkmen will be progressing any further.

MK Dons 1-1 QPR

Neil Warnock suffered hardest from the ‘magic of the cup’ when QPR were almost left red-faced by an MK Dons side that were much more determined than the opposing Premier League outfit. Flying high in League One, the Dons carried plenty of confidence into the tie and had some excellent chances to take the lead. A tight offside decision and a penalty shout aside, the Dons created a few good chances before Dean Bowditch battled the ball off Heidar Helguson and slotted home to give the home side a deserved lead.

It would have been a well-earned surprise victory had it not been for the late mix-up between the goalkeeper and defence that allowed Helguson to steal in and poach a goal that was every bit as cheeky as Bowditch’s opener. Regardless of the last-minute equaliser, Neil Warnock (affectionately known as Colin) found himself out of the job on Sunday evening, with his likely replacement being Mark Hughes (but more on that next time). Dons manager Karl Robinson has promised to “have a go” in the replay, and given their excellent performance you wouldn’t bet against them completing the upset.

Crawley Town 1-0 Bristol City

Crawley’s rise to prominence continued with a hard-fought victory over Championship relegation-line tip-toers Bristol City. The first-half would have reflected Crawley’s dominance in the scoreline had it not been for a seemingly jagged inside post, which somehow prevented efforts from Thompson and Tubbs sliding into the goal.

In the second half rotundly-named Matt Tubbs, who has scored a number of important goals for Crawley including 40 in their promotion year, was put through on goal by a scything pass from Sergio Torres. He had the experience to put it past veteran ‘keeper David James, and that was all Crawley needed to confirm their place in the fourth round.

Newcastle United 2-1 Blackburn Rovers

Could it finally be their year? Newcastle are probably in the best position to win a major trophy since Alan Shearer retired, with many key players on the form of their lives and the team as a unit functioning well. In the face of an early setback when David Goodwillie scored another two-yard scrambler, Newcastle eventually showed that they had the class to dispatch Steve Kean’s jaded and downbeat men. 

Hatem Ben Arfa briefly turned into Lionel Messi when he outfoxed the Blackburn defence multiple times in a row before lofting the ball past Mark Bunn in goal. Alan Pardew called it the best goal he’d ever seen, and in fairness to him it was a superb individual effort. It was just a shame that ITV felt the clip was only worth rushing through once and with no deliberation (more on that further down).

In the fifth minute of stoppage time, Jonas Gutierrez knocked away a dramatic winner to give Newcastle a place in the fourth round, as well as allowing himself an opportunity to cosplay as a slap-dash Spiderman.

Arsenal 1-0 Leeds United

From the moment Thierry Henry signed the loan deal to take him back to Arsenal for two months, this game was only ever going to be about one beardy Frenchman. The Emirates Stadium lapped up his presence with the enthusiasm of a child at Christmas. This was Arsenal’s very own ‘Return of the King’, and boy did he take to his throne with style.

Leeds spent the first-half being irritatingly handy in defence, with Arsenal only allowed a handful of decent chances on goal. With Robin van Persie taking an oddly-timed break in Dubai, the Arsenal attack lacked the vigour, creativity and clinical finishing the Dutchman has carried with him all season. It only made sense that Henry was going to make an appearance, and it only made sense that he would end up scoring the decisive goal.

Indeed, in the second-half King Thierry graced the audience to a might reception. He doffed his crown before focussing on channelling the natural passion he had for the club into an effective performance. Within ten minutes, Alex Song cut through the Leeds defence with a clever pass and Henry took two touches to stroke the ball home past Lonergan. The Frenchman went crazy, celebrating like he’d just given birth to Jesus.

It was a fitting way for Henry to begin his second spell at Arsenal, and it now remains to be seen as to whether or not Thierry can still hack it against Premier League opposition.

The rest

Because there was a lot going on this weekend, I’m going to do a one sentence summary of the remaining fixtures.

Barnsley 2-4 Swansea City: Danny Graham scored a beautiful drive as Nathan Dyer pulled the strings in the Swansea midfield to lead the Swans to a victory in an entertaining fixture (that was only let down by the fact it made some Welsh people happy).

Birmingham City 0-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers: Absolutely nothing happened and everyone hated it.

Brighton & HA 1-1 Wrexham: Unpronounceably named midfielder Adrian Cieslewicz performed a dainty dribble and deflected a goal in to give non-league Wrexham a valuable replay.

Bristol Rovers 1-3 Aston Villa: Pensioner Scott McGleish scored a nice flick but missed a penalty as Aston Villa showed too much class for Bristol Rovers to contain.

Chelsea 4-0 Portsmouth: A rather flattering result for Chelsea who thumped Pompey in a repeat of the 2010 FA Cup Final (except with lots more goals).

Coventry City 1-2 Southampton: Lowly Coventry took an early lead, but Danny Fox was the big provider with two assists for Southampton in an all-Championship affair which ended with top beating bottom.

Dagenham & Redbridge 0-0 Millwall: League Two Dagenham frustrated Millwall and earned a replay in another uneventful affair that I wish I wasn't talking about because I couldn't fit anything interesting into that sentence.

Derby County 1-0 Crystal Palace: Palace players ran around with Wembley in the corner of their eyes as Derby won against the distracted side.

Doncaster Rovers 0-2 Notts County:  Jeff Hughes enjoys a smiley brace as Doncaster collapse like a dying whale to another poor defeat.

Everton 2-0 Tamworth: Brave effort from Tamworth is sullied by two unspectacular goals from Heitinga and Baines, leaving everyone to groan in sympathy.

Fleetwood Town 1-5 Blackpool: Ian Holloway’s side romps to victory as Matt Phillips scores a hat-trick and Lomana LuaLua evokes an instinctual euphoria in Sam Matterface.

Fulham 4-0 Charlton Athletic: Yankee-doodle hat-trick from Clint Dempsey kills off any hopes of an all-London derby becoming host to an upset.

Gillingham 1-3 Stoke City: Gills take the lead through Kedwell, but Pulis’ side shows the usual fight to turn the game around and keep The Potters in with a chance of repeating last season’s cup run.

Hull City 3-1 Ipswich Town: Some truly embarrassing defending from Ipswich and a sumptuous strike from Tom Cairney aid Hull to a simple victory.

Middlesbrough 1-0 Shrewsbury Town: Marvin Emnes casually pokes home a winner in an unspectacular affair.

Norwich City 4-1 Burnley: A flying start from the Canaries sees them into the next round, despite chunky striker Grant Holt missing a penalty.

Nottingham Forest 0-0 Leicester City: Both goalkeepers were forced to make some strong-handed saves to keep the game at an unhelpful stalemate.

Peterborough United 0-2 Sunderland: Jim Beglin falls asleep to the disappointment of no-one as Larsson’s frustratingly effective free-kicks and a James McLean goal see off the Posh challenge.

Reading 0-1 Stevenage: The Hertfordshire side gain a modestly surprising victory courtesy of Darius Charles’ first-half strike.

Sheffield United 3-1 Salisbury: The steak-loving underdogs were undone by a nutmeg, a chested effort and an own goal.

Sheffield Wednesday 1-0 West Ham United: Chris O’Grady crashes a late drive past uppity intellectual goalkeeper Ruud Boffin to give Wednesday a shock victory.

Tottenham 3-0 Cheltenham Town: Jermain Defoe commits shameful goal-theft as Dos Santos stars in Spurs rout.

Watford 4-2 Bradford City: Craig Forsyth plays his cards right as he earns a brace, including an excellent 25-yard piledriver, to help the Hornets to the victory.

West Bromwich Albion 4-2 Cardiff City: Simon Cox is on hand to fend off a dogged fightback from Cardiff, scoring a lovely hat-trick in the process.

Fourth Round Draw

Aside from all the annoying football that quite frankly gets in the way, one of the best things about an FA Cup weekend is the draw for the next round. There’s something faintly exciting about two men standing there with their hands fondling lots of balls (Two points for anyone who can spot the extremely subtle euphemisms in that sentence).

The Fourth Round Draw offered an interesting outcome. Without doubt, the biggest match of the weekend will be Manchester United’s second derby of the tournament away to Liverpool. The tension surrounding the game will only have been heightened by the recent dispute between Luis Suarez and Patrice Evra, and I’m certain that in a cup environment Liverpool will be giving their absolute all to turn Manchester United over. It promises to be a spectacularly entertaining fixture.

That aside, there’s quite a few all-Premier-League ties (potentially seven). This works out well for the smaller teams who have been drawn against each other, offering them that little ray of opportunity to reach the latter stages and get that once-in-a-lifetime day out in the sunshine. Certainly, the winners of the games between Stevenage and Notts County, Hull and Crawley, Blackpool and Sheffield Wednesday, and Forest/Leicester vs Swindon will be looking at their draws with an anticipated glee, as if they’d just matched the first three numbers of a lottery draw.

Other games to look out for would be Watford vs Tottenham, which will be a feisty affair given the proximity of the clubs and the fact that Tottenham Hotspur is a rather large bane on the young Watford support; Sunderland vs Middlesbrough, a North-East affair that promises to be driven with passion; and MK Dons/QPR vs Chelsea, which will either be one of the hugest games in the Dons very short history, or a fiery all-London affair in which Chelsea will look to avenge their cataclysmic defeat at Loftus Road earlier in the season.

ITV’s Coverage

I just wanted to add a quick word on ITV’s coverage of the FA Cup. While they have admittedly gotten better, the FA Cup highlights programme is still a very tough watch. For a start, the studio environment looks so cold, stiff and awkward. Matt Smith never appears to be comfortable. He’s sitting in an unnatural way and has the look in his eyes that he doesn’t really know what’s happening. The pundits were a better choice than usual, but they didn’t look very relaxed either. It just seemed for some reason as if they were all ready for a big rush.

You wouldn’t blame them though, because that’s what the programme is in effect. You get the detailed highlights of three or four games and then it’s a one-hundred meter dash to get through the rest of the matches. You get about four seconds of each game which basically just consists of the goals (unless it was a 0-0, in which case you get a customary two chances – one for either side), and then the pundits have to be experts on about thirty different games in one sitting. It’s not the right way to go about it.

It’s a tricky situation, because it would almost be a sin to forego games in order to have a more in-depth look at other matches, but it’s just a shame when a moment of pure bliss such as Ben Arfa’s stunning goal against Blackburn is barely squeezed in for one viewing.

Goal of the Weekend: The aforementioned head-spinner from Hatem Ben Arfa

Performance of the Weekend: Tricky. I’ll go for Swindon Town for their battling display against Wigan.

The ‘Huh, that’s Different’ Award: Paul Scholes, for spontaneously deciding he’d grown tired of sitting like a lemon (more like a tangerine, am I right?).

Football 2011: Another Lovely Review

AKA - Football in 2011: No God not the bees! Arrrrgh! Arrrghgarblegarble My Eyes! My Eyes!

The beautiful game is getting more and more beautiful, yet the financial machine behind it continues to inflate beyond comprehension. Football has had another year of captivation, controversy and capitulation. It’s been bloody brilliant.

Cast your mind back to January. Roy Hodgson, resembling a lost child accidentally put in charge of a football club, was sacked as Liverpool manager and the good Lord himself King Kenny Dalglish was his replacement. Chelsea paid an immense and, retrospectively, laughable £50m on misfiring Fernando Torres. Football lost a legend in big Nat Lofthouse, who died aged 85. “Feels like a while ago”, we all cry in unison.

It has been a long year for football. The aforementioned financial aspect of the game has been completely out of control. I envisioned some form of collapse for football’s economy long before the stage we’ve reached now, but instead the inflated transfer fees show no sign of stopping. Andy Carroll, who had only been through a season of Premier League experienced, was deemed to be worth £35m from Liverpool. Meanwhile, veteran striker Samuel Eto’o was bathing in sweet money thanks to his record-high salary of £330,000 a week at Russian club Anzhi Makhachkala.

It’s a worrying trend. Somewhere, the costs have to be covered and it seems that is beginning to hit the pockets of the fans more than anything else. The constant burden that is my football team, Portsmouth, are starting to charge £30 a ticket. That’s Championship level football, and that simply isn’t good enough. The world’s financial chaos means that the days of season tickets and Sky subscriptions will begin to dwell, and that could lead to crisis for certain clubs.

However, the football itself is getting better. Enough praise has been thrown at Barcelona that if all the players were found guilty of tearing down orphanages and destroying valuable pieces of art, everyone would still watch them with dreamy approval. However, it is true that the football is getting more and more amazing and Lionel Messi is continuing to establish himself as not just the best player at the moment, but a possible candidate for one of the best of all time once his career has finished. So far this season, Barcelona have scored an astonishing 39 goals in 8 home games.

In general though, football seems to be moving back towards a more interesting attacking style. 4-5-1 seemed ready to dominate football, but over this year teams are gradually evolving into a 4-3-3, with forward players chasing down the wings in order to put more pressure on defences. It’s worked, as we’ve seen some games with superb ebbing and flowing, and to top that some ridiculous scorelines. Who could forget the 8-2 between Man United and Arsenal? Or the 6-1 between Man City and Man United? Or the incredible 4-4 between Arsenal and Newcastle?

With such excitement has come a change in the pecking order for English football. The classic ‘big four’ is well and truly dead, with Manchester City and arguably Tottenham coming well into the frame. Man City have been the success story of 2011, with their continued improvement seeing them to FA Cup success last season and making them frontrunners for the title this year. With the signings of Aguero, Dzeko and Nasri bolstering the team, it seems very likely that Manchester City will be the next big name in world football. That said, world superstars don’t tend to be shown on Channel 5 on a Thursday night.

There have been some more sombre occasions in the world of football as well this year. Recently, we tragically lost two very well respected figures in the game. Gary Speed’s death was met with as much sorrow as I can ever remember from a footballer’s passing. Clearly a much-loved figure in the game, ex-players and reporters were breaking down in tears all over the place in the days following the shocking announcement. We also lost former Brazilian star Socrates, aged just 57. He was instrumental in the great passing and moving that Brazil possessed during his time.

Meanwhile, we had the retirements of a few true greats in football. Paul Scholes hung his boots up after a quietly illustrious career spent entirely at Old Trafford. The ginger midfielder continued to play a key role in his side up until the day he called it quits. Also leaving the foray of football was Ronaldo. A player who helped define his generation, Ronaldo left behind a legacy of World Cup memories, as well as his hundreds of goals in club football.

So what can sum up this tumultuous year in football? I’m going to say Mario Balotelli. That sounds odd, but think about it: Lots of money, much craziness and unexpected events off the pitch, perhaps a little too much showboating, but underneath it all some great football. Balotelli is the embodiment of football in 2011, and that’s somewhat lovable, somewhat tragic. God himself is struggling to work out where we’ll be at the end of 2012...

SEASON AWARDS – Bear in mind these awards are for the most entertaining entities in each category, and not necessarily the best.

Team of the year: I want to give this to Blackpool, because not only were their matches always exciting, they had us intrigued during their relegation battle. However, they faded out during this season. It’s between them and Birmingham, who went through just about everything you could go through. They won the League Cup, got relegated, had a European tour, shafted their manager off to their rivals...

Sod it. Blackpool win.

Player of the Year: Mario Balotelli. He’s amazing in every sense of the word.

Game of the Year – Manchester United 1-6 Manchester City. Not only was this incredible to watch, I get the feeling it will be one of the defining games of an era. City’s domination started here.

Goal of the Year – Bryan Ruiz vs Everton. Purely for the fact that Bryan Ruiz has literally done nothing else except this one ridiculously good goal.

Numpty of the Year – Sepp Blatter. I think perhaps this award should just be the ‘Sepp Blatter Numpty of the Year’ award and have it guaranteed that he will always win it as long as he is in football. Good job, Sepp.

Manager of the Year – Steve Kean. He’s inspired more protests than raised tuition fees and yet keeps his job. He also looks like Karl Pilkington.

Bizarre Moment of the Year – Emile Heskey going mental and barging into referee Mike Jones, consequently having to be restrained by his team-mates. I mean, where the hell did that come from? It was hilarious.

Goalkeeper of the Year - Bartosz Białkowski. I think he’s only played one game this year, but it was like he was trying to recreate a Heurelho Gomes compilation reel in 90 minutes. Shockingly poor.

The WTF England Cap of the Year – Carlton Cole. He’s had seven now, and I still don’t get it.

Refereeing Decision of the Year – Jack Rodwell sent off in the Merseyside derby because... I guess the referee was in that sort of mood.

AND FINALLY, the JensonsBeard award for just being awesome goes to... Titus Bramble. It’s his forceful tackling that I like.

I would like to apologise for the previous sentence.

Best season ever?

Cor! 8-2! Blimey! 6-1! Wowzers! 5-3! Swizzle! 4-3!

Just some of the sounds you will have no doubt heard during this year’s Premier League season. And there’s no question such unrepressed emotion about the football so far is justified. Defences seem to have gone to sleep whilst attackers are running riot. The top teams are collapsing against one another leaving the title race gaping, whilst the bottom teams battle on in promise of a gutsy relegation fight.

This year was perfectly poised to be an absolute classic. Manchester United’s rather uninspiring summer signings looked like it would put them in difficult stead for the year. In contrast, their rivals Man City could boast a gamut of new recruits that gave them the potential to really tough it out with the big boys. Meanwhile, Chelsea would have to deal with another new manager, Arsenal seemed to be crumbling, Liverpool were resurgent. It was going to be amazing.

And by God, has it delivered, but perhaps not in the way we expected. United remained relatively firm up until their hammering at the hands of Man City. Their transfer deals looked to be working a treat with Jones holding firm in defence and Young adding a classy creative spark up front. Furthermore, youngsters such as Cleverley and Welbeck began to look the finished article, integrating themselves into the first eleven seamlessly.

However, the aforementioned thrashing by Manchester City has certainly rubber stamped a more-than-worthy challenge from United’s pesky rivals. City’s potential was really up in the air until that first whistle was blown – nobody knew if the team was truly going to hack it at the top following their FA Cup victory. Also, with so many fresh faces thrown into the side, it was not impossible for the team to become unbalanced.

Despite this, they have absolutely flourished in the league this year. The team looks strong in every department and certain players, such as David Silva and Edin Dzeko, ooze quality. Few would doubt the title credentials of City, who are having a season that speaks parallels with Chelsea first EPL title win in 2005. That said, if they are the best side in the league it’s not by a huge margin, and with this in mind it’s all setting up for an epic Battle of Manchester this year.

But what of Chelsea? The team who often threaten to dominate during the early stages of the year? With Andre Villas-Boas in charge it could be said, with due fairness, that this is a transitional season for Chelsea. A manager so young will need time to develop his own team and style, but this is not to say Chelsea are definitely out of the title race this year. So far they have played some impressive football, with Mata looking all the £24m that was paid for him. However, the defence looks jaded, as evidenced by the 5-3 thriller that saw Chelsea defeated. Furthermore, Torres still isn’t back to form and it looks like Drogba and Anelka are starting to wane.

The other contenders would normally be Arsenal; however they have been through a real crisis at the start of this season. An uninspiring start was followed by the stupendously tragic 8-2 defeat to Man United. Since then they have been inconsistent and haven’t looked at all like title challengers. Only Robin van Persie’s extraordinary form has kept heads above water in North London, and his influence has been enough to see the team win a few games and rise to 7^th. It’s perhaps not a complete disaster, but it’s certainly not encouraging for The Gunners.

And how about Liverpool, the team who spent big money to establish themselves as a successful team once more? It’s been on and off for them. Their form has been solidly Europa-League standard, but they are lacking the spark that will make them potential championship winners once more. Suarez has had a funny year, looking classy but not so effective. Gerrard has returned from his long injury, which is a big boost, but again it seems as if Liverpool’s season will be one of consolidation.

All this, combined with the excellent form of Tottenham and Newcastle, and the trials and tribulations of the promoted teams, balances the season in a spectacular way. I can’t remember a time where I’ve felt more excited about the possibilities of the year. We’re going to have an incredible title race, the chase for Europe will be superb, and the relegation fight will include unbearable tension. More to the point though, the games themselves have been excellent examples of interesting, attacking and incident-filled football.

No season have I ever, so often, come away from watching a game and remained on that high for days after. Long may that last.

Changing of the Guard

The seemingly innocuous retirement of Gary Neville begins a generational shift for Man United

Just what is it that brings the sort of relentless, unremitting success to a club that Manchester United have enjoyed for the last twenty years? Is it hefty wads of cash being injected into the team? Is it having one of the best managers in the world? Is it producing wave after wave of extraordinary talent from the academy?

Many would argue that it’s a combination of the three, but I’d like to think that having several players ready and willing to devote themselves entirely to the club, come rain or shine, is just as valuable and important. Indeed, three key players to Manchester United’s 20 years of unrivalled   success would have to be Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes and Gary Neville. Throughout the years they have never shown a hint of desire to leave the club. They have flourished when made key figures in the team, and diligently stood by on the few occasions where other players took their roles. They epitomise the term “one-club man”.

It’s hard to think of anyone who will have enjoyed their football career more than Ryan Giggs has. The early proclamation by the media of him being the ‘wizard of dribble’ does not fairly sum up the range of abilities that the Welshman has; some of which came naturally to him, but some of which he developed through maturity. His technical ability and range of passing has always been excellent, and as he’s slowed down over the years he’s managed to curb the ‘pacy winger’ side of his game for a more considered playmaker role.

He’s had his fair share of famous moments as well. Many will remember the FA Cup semi-final replay in which his mazy dribbling saw him cut through an entire defence, although more will remember the hairy-chested celebration that followed. Besides that, Giggs set up the first goal in United’s 1999 Champions League comeback, and remains one of only four midfielders to have scored 100 Premier League goals.

Another one of those four is Paul Scholes. Scholes may not have had the longetivity and adulation that Giggs has had in his career, but he has left an indelible mark upon many of his opponents and team-mates, who utterly admire his abilities. Zinedine Zidane once said that "Scholes is undoubtedly the best midfielder of his generation.", whilst United legend Bobby Charlton labelled him “the embodiment of all that I think is best about football”.

His media-shy demeanour undoubtedly endears him to the game’s insiders, but this unfortunately means he sometimes gets overlooked by journalists and fans. Without question though, Scholes is one of the best English midfielders of all time. His talent of picking out a pass from practically anywhere on the pitch was phenomenal, and it’s an ability he still possesses to a great degree.

And of course, some of his goals have been absolute corkers. He has a methodical precision to direct a 25-yard volley exactly where he wants it to go, and yet he maintains a superb power in the shot that allows the ‘keeper no opportunity to get anywhere near it. His goal against Aston Villa in 2006 was the perfection of this talent.

Goals however, are not the forte of Gary Neville. In his 400 appearances for United, he only managed five. But Neville’s style of play was built on resisting the spectacular. Pure consistency was the reason he was able to act as a great servant for both club and country, becoming an integral part of many different United and England defences. With today’s full-backs like Glen Johnson and Ashley Cole, there is an expectance that they will support the attack by flying forward. Not to say that Neville never did this, but he knew his main priority was to defend and he stuck to that task with an admirable assiduousness.

Unfortunately, the past few seasons have seen a rapid demise in his performances. Despite Ferguson’s faith in Neville as captain, it had been clear for a while that Neville could no longer cut it at the top level, and he rightfully hanged up his boots, left to contemplate his steady, successful career.

Despite not being a United fan, I still have a feeling of sentimentality about Giggs, Scholes and Neville, and I believe many will feel the same way. A whole new generation of supporters have grown up with these three players making up part of the furniture at Old Trafford, and now that Neville has retired and will surely soon be followed by Giggs and Scholes, it really does mark the end of an era.